I so totally got scooped on my cookie diet. I should have written about it years ago, but I got sidetracked — and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to share my secret for staying thin.  So this week I get a mass e-mail regarding “The New Cookie Diet!” Of course their take on the deal is a little different from mine. Check out the press release:

“Wedding season is in full effect and that means that brides-to-be everywhere are looking for a quick and easy way to fit perfectly into those gowns! Instead of practically starving themselves before their nuptials, brides can now drop the pounds quickly by eating delicious cookies; YES cookies! The Dr. Siegal’s Cookie Diet famous diet cookies effectively suppress hunger… Each daily bag contains six cookies at 90 calories each…”

To that, I say, “Hello? Six cookies to last an entire day? Are they nutts?” On my cookie diet, you can have six or eight or 12 cookies just for breakfast!

Since I know you want to know, I’ll share details on My Cookie Diet. The toughest step for my diet is that you have to make the cookies. Store-bought cookies simply won’t do. They have way too much wrong fat, way too little sugar, and way too little flavor. So make yourself a batch or two of cookies, any flavor works.

Morning 1: Eat cookies, say about 6 medium to large size should do. Enjoy with coffee and go about your day. When you get hungry – dive for that cookie jar. Feel free to eat as many as you like. Enjoy your cookies with any no-calorie, no-nutrient drink. 

When you find yourself hungry again, yes, cookies. If you must, you are allowed to eat a few nutrients around the dinner hour. But don’t overdo it. And no, you may not have ice cream, candy and other treats as well. Just the cookies.

The result: By the time you’ve dusted off 4 to 5 dozen cookies, you will notice that you are not so much wanting to eat the cookies anymore. In fact, you may begin to lag and lack the energy to eat much of anything. But you will lose weight. I promise. I have much experience with this diet — it works.

UNscientifically speaking, the reason you lose weight, (I think), is that most of what you are eating isentirely nutrient-free.The weight-loss is rather nice, but you may also experience fatigue, foggy brain activity, even a touch of irritability. The most common side effect, however, is a rip-roaring cold that lasts for days — because your body lacks the nutrients it needs for your immune system to work properly.

If you would like more information on My Cookie Diet, I suggest you find yourself a book on good nutrition, quick. If you’d like information on Dr. Siegal’s Cookie Diet, you’ll have to get with him, 212-584-4325 or jevans@5wpr.com.

Apparently so, if you believe what you read. Krispy Kreme, a.k.a. breakfast central for the masses, has introduced yet one more item to their lineup of healthy breakfast foods:

“Krispy Kreme Introduces NEW Whole Wheat Doughnut. 100% Whole Wheat and Only 180 Calories!” the advertisement hollers at me (via email.)

Somehow I doubt it. I just plain doubt it. I don’t question the calorie count, because if they didn’t tell the truth about that they would be in big trouble. What I DO doubt is that there is anything more nutritious about this particular doughnut vs. any other Krispy Kreme, or any other doughnut, for that matter.

Realistically speaking, Krispy Kremes are very small doughnuts, hence the 180 calories. What I really want to know is what else is in this doughnut? How much fat? How much sugar? What else? Exactly what percent of that flour is made frome whole wheat? How much fiber am I really getting? And perhaps most importantly, how am I going to feel by lunchtime if I eat this for breakfast?

It’s possible that those who consume doughnuts do get a miniscule amount of nutritional something from them. But the fact is that doughnuts are possibly the worst breakfast food on earth. Personally, I don’t consider doughnuts to be food at any time of day.

If, however, you are a fan of doughnuts, I have a suggestion. Don’t bother with a whole wheat doughnut unless you really love the flavor of whole wheat. Eating a doughnut for its nutritional value is a bust. The only real reason to eat a doughnut is because you like it.

– Jolene Thym