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THE BIG Q: What would you do?

By Jackie Burrell
Saturday, January 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm in Advice.

?! by Dhiegaum/StockXchng
This is your chance to be the advice columnist. This question popped up recently – inspired, no doubt, by the latest Childhood Matters radio show on toilet training – and rather than offer up our opinions, we thought we’d ask all the parents out there:

“My mother-in-law is pushing us to potty train our 2-year-old, and I’m just not sure he’s ready. What would you do?”

Click “comments” and weigh in with your tips and advice!

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4 Responses to “THE BIG Q: What would you do?”

  1. Qtpies7~ Says:

    I would just put my foot down and say that if she wants to potty train a 2 year old, then she needs to get her own and do it again. She had her chance, did it her way, and now it is your chance to be the mom, and you need to be able to do things the way YOU see fit, no matter how anyone else feels about the situation.
    Potty training a child later will not cause the child to have trauma, or never learn, training before they are ready CAN cause issues and delay learning.
    On the flip-side, if she isn’t normally the meddling type, I would take into concideration what she has to say. Sometimes we can’t see when our kids are ready because they do know how to play us.

  2. d Says:

    Why not just ask your son if he is ready? On my son’s second birthday he told us that night that he wanted “to check out that real big boy potty.” We were suprised, but he would pee there exclusively — still wearing a pull up for a week or two. He basically potty trained himself. The fact that all the kids in his preschool class were trained probably helped him along, but potty training had to be one of the easiest parenting tasks so far! Talk with your childs teacher as well and if you decide to try training now, make sure your game plan and approach match that of the school. That consistency makes a hugs difference too.

    As for the meddling MIL. Tell her that you know your son best, and know what is right for him and when. I use that line when my MIL steps over the line — which is pretty much all the time!!

  3. Nurse Rona Says:

    Great comments from the parents who responded. Since I’m the grandma of a 2 year old, I know how sensitive a subject this can be. What I find is that my daughter doesn’t ask my opinion about things she doesn’t want to talk about. And I’m learning to not give advice that isn’t asked for (most of the time). Grandparents need to remember that criticism is never what a new parent needs, and parents might consider that sometimes grandma has good suggestions to offer. I really liked what “D” said to tell the meddling grandma: “I know my son best, and know what’s right for him and when.”
    So much of parenting is about paying attention to your child’s cues and understanding what makes them tick. Children come into the world with a certain temperamental style, and so what works for one child will not necessary work for another. Have confidence that when you treat children with respect and patience, they will learn to use the toilet when they’re ready to tackle that task. Do your best not to turn it into a power struggle, since your child is bound to win. They have control of their bodily functions, so if they start to resist, back off for awhile. Keep in mind that it’s not such a good time to potty train if your child has just moved, a new baby was born, or if there are other unusual challenges for the family.
    Read some books on how to get started, and enjoy the process of watching your toddle become more independent. If you’re having problems call you Pediatrician for advice.

    With gratitude,
    Nurse Rona

  4. Cecilia Warner Says:

    Very nice article. I’m finding out more about how to potty train my toddler from reading the info on your blog, then I’ve ever did from the advice given to me by my own grandmom. Hope it’s ok that I share this post on Mixx?

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