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LOLITA Beds for Tots

By Jackie Burrell
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 at 4:34 pm in Just Bizarre.

Lolita movie poster
Staffers at Woolworths, the British retail chain, are shocked – shocked! – at the furor over their marketing “Lolita” beds to 6-year-old girls.

Parents are upset because the name Lolita conjures up the famous Vladimir Nabokov book of the same name about an exceptionally precocious, sexually active pre-teen and her stepfather, a literary scholar and child predator.

“Vladi-huh?” Woolworths’ workers said, or something to that effect.

Their excuse? Never heard of the notorious 1955 bestseller, the 1962 movie directed by Stanley Kubrick, or the 1997 remake starring Jeremy Irons. Guess they were too busy watching MTV when Modern Library named the book the fourth best English-language novel of the 20th century. And they claim they’d never heard the term “Lolita” used to describe oversexed moppets. (The word’s in the dictionary, for heaven’s sake.)

“We had to look it up on Wikipedia,” a spokesman told Reuters. “But we certainly know who she is now.”

We’re waiting to see what they come up with next. A Jeffrey Dahmer dinette set, perhaps.

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