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BABY Name Remorse

By Jackie Burrell
Friday, March 7th, 2008 at 12:38 pm in Babies & Tots.

Crying baby Stop the presses! There’s war in the Middle East and recession at home, but J Lo and Marc Anthony have finally announced their babies’ names and we’ve got the multiple, enthralled press releases to prove it – Max and Emme, in case you were wondering. So it’s with a certain bemusement – and the realization that we’ll have to read volumes of Proust to balance this out – that we’ve been skimming through the fluffy announcements. And there, wayyy down in the press releases, were these little nuggets:

First, 48 percent of moms claim celebrity names don’t influence them at all. Suuuuuure. They may think that, but then explain the “Grey’s Anatomy” effect…

The name Addison (as in Kate Walsh’s character) hit the top 10 list of baby names this year. Isabelle (as in Katherine Heigl’s “Izzie” Stevens) is number 2, Bailey (Chandra Wilson’s OR nazi) suddenly jumped 39 spots, landing at #60, and Callie (Sara Ramirez’ Callie Torres) broke the top 100. (We’ve scanned the boy baby charts and we’re disappointed to report that McDreamy’s not on the list at all.)Also from BabyCenter: while the vast, vast majority of parents are delighted by the names they choose for their offspring, some 3 percent experience “baby name remorse.” Unfortunately, the publicist was unable to supply the names that elicited the most remorse. But we can guess. We’ve got a copy of Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback’s “Bad Baby Names” sitting right here.

Sherrod and Rayback drew from the U.S. Census birth records to produce one ghastly name after another. Hundreds of them. Perhaps at some distant point in U.S. history it was de rigeur to name your child after household accessories and lingerie. We certainly hope Curtain Sprankle and Panty Brain (yes, really) thought so. But how do you explain Tackle Feigenbutz? Rough and Ready Shoots? Forest Sherwood? Or Sinner Ogle? If their parents didn’t have baby name remorse, their offspring surely did.

Got ghastly baby names to add to the list? Click “comments” and share!

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4 Responses to “BABY Name Remorse”

  1. d Says:

    Am I the only one who thought of “Dragon Tales” when Marc and J Lo announced their kids names?

  2. Flo Says:

    Don’t forget this little nugget of goodness: Top Ten Worst Baby Names of 2007

  3. baby toys Says:

    baby toys…

    In fact, Webkinz contributes to teaching responsibility to kids so they CAN grow up to be a little more responsible. It’s like homework…

  4. Derby University Says:

    Derby University…

    Your blog makes very interesting reading. I’m sure others will think so too I look forward to reading their comments….

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