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WANTED: One Felonious Essay

By Jackie Burrell
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 at 4:48 pm in Just Bizarre, Teens.

Test cheaters (illus. by Richard Hodges, KRT) Okaaaaay, just a thought … but if you’re planning to break any laws or commit school-banned infractions, it’s probably best not to advertise it before the fact. A University of Buffalo basketball star was suspended last week after university officials discovered he’d posted a Facebook ad looking for someone to do his homework. Here ’tis:

“I am paying anybody who have read the book ‘there are no children here’ by Alex Kotlowitz $30-40 which in some classes you have to read at UB (even more money if you have to read the book a little more!!) to write a 3-4 page paper, on a couple questions which was assigned.”

OK, hiring someone to write your essay? Wrong. So very wrong. Inability to string together a grammatically correct sentence after three years of college? So very much wrong-er.

That’s not even the best part. This is:

Mortified university officials – including associate athletics director and spokesman Paul Vecchio – made their star athlete take down his Facebook page, write his own essay and issue a heartfelt apology to the university community. Here’s what he wrote, er, “wrote”:

“I realize I made a mistake for which I take full responsibility,” Andy Robinson said, “and realize I must regain the trust of my teammates, fellow student-athletes and coaching staff. I have brought disappointment in myself and the university and for this I am truly sorry.”

We have questions… oh so many questions. But first, kudos to Vecchio. Nice letter! Where were you when Robinson needed that Kotlowitz essay written?

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