Comments on: WAITING FOR BABY: Cracking the adoption books http://www.ibabuzz.com/aparentlyspeaking/2008/04/30/waiting-for-baby-cracking-the-adoption-books/ From diapers to diplomas, an irreverent, practical guide to all things parenting Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:18:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Ann Tatko-Peterson http://www.ibabuzz.com/aparentlyspeaking/2008/04/30/waiting-for-baby-cracking-the-adoption-books/comment-page-1/#comment-919 Ann Tatko-Peterson Thu, 01 May 2008 21:53:51 +0000 http://www.ibabuzz.com/aparentlyspeaking/2008/04/30/waiting-for-baby-cracking-the-adoption-books/#comment-919 Mirah Riben makes some excellent points in her comment. Understanding the ethical issues is important, and certainly the next step in the deciding to adopt process. There will be a later post about books to read and other resources that will help in understanding how adoptees feel. Also, we will talk about open adoption, which has gone a long way to helping birth families and forging lifelong relationships, as well as adoptive families.

As for saying that adopting a foster child has “no risk whatsoever,” that’s too broad a statement and not necessarily true. There are a lot of emotional issues, coupled with tremendous risk, in some cases. I know of cases where the adoption fell through for legal reasons, including changes in county laws, and another situation where the adopted child had severe emotional issues when his birthfather tried to re-enter his life.

The point is that adoption, no matter the circumstances, is not something to take lightly. And I’m sure you will find that the majority who go down this path have done a lot of soul-searching and fact-finding before proceeding.

]]> By: Mirah http://www.ibabuzz.com/aparentlyspeaking/2008/04/30/waiting-for-baby-cracking-the-adoption-books/comment-page-1/#comment-920 Mirah Thu, 01 May 2008 20:42:10 +0000 http://www.ibabuzz.com/aparentlyspeaking/2008/04/30/waiting-for-baby-cracking-the-adoption-books/#comment-920 There are many other issues one should read about when considering child adoption other than prices and what is quickest and easiest and safest FOR THE ADOPTERS.

There are ETHICAL considerations.

There are other people’s lives involved in your decision. There is what is best for the child and his/her mother, father and extended fmaily.

I might suggest that you add to your reading list blogs and books by adoptees. See how they feel.May are very angry, specifically internationally adopted persons.

Read blogs and books written by mothers, father and family members who have lost children to adoption. Read about the coercion and exploitation.

Google David Smolin and read about child trafficking.

AND….if you want the safest, cheapest adoption with no risk whatsoever of a mother, father or anyone coming back…is to adopt one of the 100,000+ children in foster care who have no family to be returned to.

Remember that the purpose of adoption is to find homes for children, not vice versa.

The U.N. states that adoption should be a LAST RESORT for children after all efforts to keep his family in tact have been tried and failed.

Mirah Riben, author
THE STORK MARKET: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry

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