((((((((Suzanne))))))))

Thanks for being the level-headed and calm one in the discussion, I do appreciate your ability to be rational and speak out of truth rather than emotion. I really admire that quality in other people, and I will keep your words in mind.

I realize that my response was not rational, and that I should take the “high road” and be the bigger person, hold myself to a higher standard than the likes of Denis Leary and those who agree with him, but I stand by my remarks. I stand by them, albeit written in anger, because I think I had the nerve to say what other people were thinking after reading this.

I’m sick of hearing people speak poorly about people with disabilities. If I have to hear the term, “That’s retarded” one more time… and that’s coming from educated people at the University level and higher education! The group is spoke of in such an ill-manner on a regular basis and it is a form of oppression.

Words can oppress, and when I read the comments listed here, I thought of my 6 year old cousin and the 8 year old I provide respite care for who has become a sister to me, and realized the oppression that they face and will continue to face from ignorant people. I think I stood up for them here on this site, although obviously only viewed by a small group, and I can sleep tonight knowing that I love them enough to put my reputation on the line for them.

OTOH, yelling at and insulting someone who clearly doesn’t know any better, won’t inspire that person to learn better. If we (parents and educators) want to be treated with dignity and respect, and especially want that for our differently-abled kids, we have to hold ourselves to a very high standard and model that behavior to the very best of our ability.

I do understand your feelings – and I often feel the same way. It’s *hard* to be subjected to Marie’s harsh, unthinking comments, and to Leary’s, and to Savage’s.

I think I blew it in my first comment when I suggested that Leary was less intelligent than my autistic son. I think venting my frustration the way I did, provoked Marie’s and the other hostile comments here. My only excuse is that I knew when I did it that it was unlikely in the extreme that Leary will ever be aware of my insult, and even more unlikely that he’ll ever become an ally of ours in advocating for people on the autism spectrum.

When I responded directly to Marie, first, inviting her to attend my son’s award ceremony, and second, attempting to provide more information which she seemed to be unaware of, I was trying to be gentle and civil – hoping that even if I didn’t win *her* over, I might still win over other readers.

One of the little tricks I used to curb my angry feelings (and I think I was just as angry as you) as I wrote, was I started with “Grandma always said, ‘you’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.’” Grandma was a very wise woman.

You won’t see that sentence in anything else I’ve posted here – I simply kept it in front of myself in the text box. As I typed each sentence and paragraph, it reminded me to check that what I was saying was as honey-filled and vinegar-free as Grandma would have liked.

When I was finished, I deleted that sentence because it was only meant for me, not to the readers of this blog. I hope I was successful, but others will be a better judge of my success or failure.

I am a special educator as well as a family member of children with autism and I think that your comments are obscene. ADHD (not ADHA) is COMPLETELY different from autism. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. They’re not the same disorders!!!

I think it is disgusting that people like Denis Leary and some of you who have commented here are accusing parents of children with autism of being inattentive. That’s bullshit. I’m sure that Sue and Amy are fantastic parents as are all of the parents of children with autism that I have encountered.

Some of you, especially you Marie, should consider educating yourself rather than being ignorant fools who walk around talking about things that they don’t even understand. Do some research, read a book, google some websites, and then get back to me. Until then, don’t go around making accusations about things you know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about.

I support autism and autism research. It is essential to find a cure for this disorder as it is affecting children at the rate of 1 in 150!! That’s evidence. Take the time to make a difference and do something about the cause rather than attacking those who are struggling with this issue every day.

(Editor’s note: Edited for language)

I’m glad you made the right choices and decisions for your child, and that his life has turned out so well.

But… there always is a “but” isn’t there?

Medical treatment works and is a huge benefit for some. My sister was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child, and was very lucky to have a special reading tutor – back in the 60′s before the era of IDEA made special education services available to all students.

In college, she was diagnosed with ADD, and getting the appropriate medication helped her tremendously. She has an MS in Civil Engineering and works for Caltrans. Her daughter is a 10th grader, and also has an ADD diagnosis, and also benefits from medication.

There are no drugs that work for dyslexia, even today. There are no drugs that help with autism symptoms – except for a *very* tiny minority of folks on the autism spectrum.

When my son was first diagnosed in 1st grade, the neurological and developmental specialist offered DH and me the opportunity to try ADHD medication for our boy. The doctor explained that it was unlikely to make any difference, but suggested a blind trial (teacher not knowing about the medication) for two reasons. First, if our kid was amoung the minority of autistics who was helped, it would be a huge change and improvement for him. Second, we could and should expect, at some point, that school officials would want us to drug-the-kid-into-submission, and when that discussion inevitably arose, we’d be able to say, “We tried medication, and it had no effect. Now, let’s move on to the things the school and the district can do that will help him.”

The second reason was the correct one for our family. But our experiences don’t apply to every family, and I don’t think I can dictate what other families *should* do for their child, based on what has (or hasn’t) worked for my child. We’re all trying to figure it out. There are no sure answers, and we just have to try different things and learn what works, and what doesn’t, in each individual’s unique circumstances.

That’s why I don’t appreciate people – Leary, Savage, etc. – who make sweeping generalizations, and insult children and parents who are struggling with the child’s disabilities. We’re all trying to get the best results we can, and we need to be supportive of each other.

If someone gets their eyes opened by meeting my son, maybe they’ll be more humane to the next family they meet – maybe when a kid has a meltdown in the grocery store, the parent won’t get so many dirty looks from others who judge him/her to be a bad parent. Maybe instead, they’ll get asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

If meeting my son changes one attitude, and that person with the changed attitude then changes their behavior towards others, then my son’s autism will have made the world a little bit better place for all of us to live. I dream of that better world.

Cindy , The first number reason on the your new book ‘101 Reasons Why Denis Leary Sucks’. Man,

1. Is I am one hit actor and where am I know and what can I do to get more fame.

Oh lets see , Autism is big , so he thought his little stupid ass would say something about Autism and then only thing it did was piss off JENNY MCCARTHY and Families that do have Autstic Children because he knew that would grab everyones attetion.

Yes , His new book should be banished from every store. If you buy that book then you are wasting your time and money trash talk like him. HE is what I would call WHITE TRASH!

Sue, It would be a pleasure for anyone to go to your sons event, But do you really think such white trash deserves to enjoy a bright , smart , and wonderful for your son event . I would NOT give him that pleasure. I would keep all the happiness to myself and My family.

Yes, I do have a child with Autism and No she is a such a pleasure to be around and such a bright, smart wonderful loving child . She is much smarter than him.

No, I am not a lazy parent, I work my ass of for my child to be more independant and to be as normal as she can. I fight evreyday for her and well continue to until the day I die. I am a proud parent of a who has Autism.

Only GOD gave parents these wonderful kids , because he knew that these parents could handle anything that comes there way and they are the ones who are blessed.

I feel kind of sorry for this dumb ass!

Just my southern Thought! LOL.
(Editor’s note: This posting has been edited.)

Please say you will…