A 6-year-old in Virginia missed his school bus, absconded with the family car and tried to drive himself 10 miles to school. And he almost made it…
Archive for the 'Just Bizarre' Category
Every year, someone gives us the gift we instantly plop into the box for the next “White Elephant” party. You know — the ceramic buffalo, the his and her matching slippers, the annoying stuffed animal that sings…and sings…and sings. But there are some folks out there who have come up with some truly useless (and in some cases flat out stupid) gifts. Here are five that blew us away:
1) Fetus cookie cutter — no, this is not an alien. It’s someone’s idea of “cute” — anyone can have a bun in the oven. Frankly, it’s disturbing on way too many levels to even attempt as a joke.
2) Screaming rubber chicken — As if the squeaking rubber chicken wasn’t bad enough, someone actually thought it was a good idea to make a rubber chicken scream. Yes, really ear-piercing scream.
3) Potty Putter — I admit it: I have a weakness for As Seen on TV products. But practicing your putting while taking care of potty business, whoa! Make your former teachers proud, and go back to reading magazines. We’d settle for just looking at the pictures.
4) Inflatable fruit cake — This is not your typical fruit cake. It’s inflatable. As in blow it up and send it to Aunt Gertrude. As a joke, maybe this works. But in tough economic times like these, just send the real deal for laughs.
5) Kids pet cam — National Geographic came out with this one. You clip the camera onto your dog or cat’s collar and set it to take pictures every 1, 5 or 15 minutes. You get to see what your pet sees. No offense, but I’ve seen where most dogs are looking (especially in the company of other dogs). I really don’t need a picture of that.
A Romanian woman gave birth to a bouncing baby girl and happily took her home to show her off to friends and family — only to be rendered speechless, mid-diaper change. The baby had a penis. According to a Daily Telegraph (UK) story with the particularly fetching headline “Hospital dimwits gave me the wrong baby,” a nursery switcheroo at Sfanta Maria Hospital sent the Zaharia family’s new baby, a boy, home with the Zahariuc family. And when the Zahariucs, who were understandably upset, tried to call the hospital, they were accused of making prank calls. Ahem. So the family, which already has two sons, took the baby to the hospital and demanded their daughter back. Now the hospital’s investigating the snafu. The baby’s father says he’s just grateful to have little Ana Maria home, and doesn’t plan to sue. No word on what the Zaharias think of all this…
It’s easy for us men to say we’d do this for our children if only we could. But what about you women? Would you do what Jaci Dalenberg did for her daughter?
Ohio woman gives birth to triplet granddaughters
Not only has a 56-year-old Ohio woman given birth to triplets, but they’re her own granddaughters. Jaci Dalenberg, of Wooster, carried the babies as a surrogate for her daughter, Kim Coseno.
Every year the new Halloween costumes roll out, trying to up the ante from the year before. And every year, there are at least a handful that leave us wondering if the manufacturers actually expected to make money off of them. Here’s the five groaners of 2008:
1) Tighty whitey — Really, do we need to explain why this one is just plain dumb? Why pay money for what our kids can do by leaving their belt at home?
2) Lolli the clown — No wonder so many kids are scared to death of clowns. This looks like something out of Dr. Seuss. Or worse yet, that hideous outfit that Grandma passes off as cute for Easter dinner.
3) Purple Wiseman — OK, forget for a moment that this is a biblical costume. What little boy would get excited at the prospect of wearing a purple robe and a fake black beard that looks like the one Tom Hanks had in “Castaway?” It’s like Stars Wars meets Barney.
4) Little Miss Muffet (for tweens) — Give this one the Slutty Costume of 2008 award. Sure, most tween girls are bursting at the seams to be like the high schoolers, so the whole mini skirt and fish-net stockings are in. But I’m willing to bet hard cash that the “Twilight”-crazy generation would rather go as a slutty vampire than a skanky nurshery rhyme character.
5) Baby Football Bunting — At least this one gets partial credit for being kind of cute. But practically every baby costume snags points for being adorable. This one looks as if it’s swallowed baby whole. Chin, what chin? And the half football bottom makes it seem as if the folks who created it weren’t even sure what to do with it.
We hardly know where to start. You know those uber-expensive Bugaboo strollers? Now, there’s a company that does Bugaboo detailing. You know, like a super fancy car wash only for strollers, instead of Maseratis. The Ooh-La-La package ($79.99-$89.99) includes upholstery cleaning, chassis and bassinet scrub down and all kinds of TLC for your wheels. Diaper fiasco? Projectile vomiting? No worries, San Francisco’s Buggy Bubbles does emergency “Uh Oh” work for $59.99. They also offer such specialty a la carte services as foot muff washing. (And no, we’re not sure what that even is. But Bugaboos are $900 strollers whose accessories include $25 cup holders for your latte … or perhaps for baby’s chai.)
We’re torn between admiration for the clever couple who came up with this one, and another emotion entirely. Reality check, please? Click “comments” and tell us what you think, or punch a button on the poll…
Teenage boys everywhere can rejoice today. A Florida judge declared a Riviera Beach law against low-riding pants unconstitutional. Honestly, this Florida town collected 5,000 signatures on a measure to outlaw saggy pants and then voted to approve it. The law ended up before a judge when a 17-year-old spent the night in jail for essentially failing to wear a belt.
Palm Beach Circuit Judge Paul Moyle wasn’t amused. “Somebody help me,” he said. “We’re not talking about exposure of buttocks. No! We’re talking about someone who has on pants whose underwear are apparently visible to a police officer who then makes an arrest and the basis is he’s then held overnight, no bond.”
Oh but this story gets even better. Seems this Florida town is only one that bans underwear-exposing-pants. Another in Louisiana can fine you $500 or put you in the slammer for up to six months. What’s more, Dallas and Atlanta are the first two major cities considering similiar laws. Someone please explain to me how wearing saggy pants can be considered more severe a crime than some forms of animal abuse?
You can’t make this stuff up: A 33-year-old Wisconsin mom stole her teenage daughter’s identity so she could try out for the high school cheerleading squad. She made the team, went to cheerleading pratice and even made a splash at a team pool party. We suspect her cheer coach must be watching wayyyy too much “One Tree Hill” if he or she can’t tell the difference between a 30-something and a 15-year-old. (That’s her mug shot, by the way.)
School officials only began wondering about their new student after the check for her cheerleader uniform bounced and she stopped attending classes the second day – after bursting into tears because math was too hard. Now the wanna-be cheerleader has been charged with felony identity theft. And her daughter, who lives with her grandmother in Nevada, must be mortified. Um, your thoughts?
We hardly know where to start. An Iowa community college president resigned Wednesday, after the Des Moines Register published a MySpace-worthy photo of him holding the spigot of a mini-beer keg over the open mouth of a young woman at a Fourth of July boat party. Trustees at Iowa Central Community College initially said it was a non-issue that a college president was playing keg captain at a boozy boat party with a group of young adults… in a culture where binge drinking is a major health and safety concern on every university campus. It was a private party, they said.
The Register’s op-ed writers disagreed: “Academic leaders represent their institutions, on the job and off, and they aren’t supposed to look as if they’re party animals who encourage underage drinking.”
Now trustees are handing Paxton $400,000 in severance pay. And there’s more…
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The words “Disney” and “underwear fiasco” don’t often appear in the same sentence. But it seems the mouse king was selling 3-packs of “High School Musical” themed panties for young girls, when a British grandmother complained about the motto emblazoned on the undies. The words “Dive In” were printed just below the belly button region. Disney quickly yanked the underpants off store shelves and said:
“The knickers in question were designed using our High School Musical 2 artwork, which uses the creative theme of a swimming pool, as this is a key part of the film’s storyline. Unfortunately a genuine oversight was made and the text on this product was used outside the context of the swimming pool. This product will not be part of any forthcoming collections.”
That’s probably the first time we’ve seen the term “knickers” in a corporate press release. But we wonder, what brainiac thought the words “Dive In” would be appropriate wording for an 8-year-old girl’s underwear?? Victoria’s Secret, sure. But Disney? What do you think? Punch a button or click “comments” and weigh in.