See below, in case ya’ll didn’t see this AP story last week. It’s about a Dutch winemaker who insured his nose for $8 million, and no longer takes risks, like picking it.

I was most curious to find out if and for how much wine critic Robert Parker insures his schnoz for. If Gort’s is worth eight mil, surely Parker’s is worth double that? All I could find is $1 million, a number I suspect is old considering the ever-increasing value of Parker Points, even in a flailing economy.

Feel free to post if you guys find a more current number on Parker’s nose. And consider the question: If wine tasting is 80 percent smell, then what is your nose worth? Happy sniffing…

Lloyd’s of London insurance market insures Dutch winemaker’s sense of smell for $8 million
By REGAN McTARSNE, Associated Press Writer

   LONDON (AP) — His schnoz is not to be sniffed at.<
A Lloyd’s of London syndicate said Tuesday it is insuring the nose of winemaker Ilja Gort for $8 million.<
The Dutch winemaker and taster took out the policy after hearing about a man who lost his sense of smell in a car accident.<
“I thought it must be a horror to lose your smell,” Gort said. “It would mean that you cannot taste wine anymore. Tasting wine is something you do with your nose, not your mouth.”<
Gort, 47, said his nose is essential for him to produce top quality wines at his Chateau de la Garde vineyard in the Bordeaux region of France.<
The custom policy covers Gort for the loss of either his nose or his sense of smell and has some conditions for protecting his nose. Among other things, he is barred from riding a motorcycle or working as a knife thrower’s assistant or fire-breather.<
And he can’t be a boxer. “I may not fight against Mike Tyson,” Gort said.<
Jonathan Thomas, the lead underwriter for the Watkins Syndicate at the Lloyd’s insurance market, also took note of Gort’s long, curly beard in drafting the policy. A clause requires that the winemaker use only experienced barbers who will keep their razors steady near his nose.<
“These insurance policies, they’re not all dry,” Thomas said. “There’s a bit of fun we can add with them as well.”<
This is one of many Lloyd’s body part insurance policies. Lloyd’s reported movie icon Marlene Dietrich had her legs insured and Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards was paid when he injured his finger on tour in the 1990s.<
America Ferrara, star of the ABC television show “Ugly Betty,” has her smile insured for $10 million, Lloyd’s said.<
“Let’s face it, it’s a Lloyd’s speciality,” Thomas said. “Lloyd’s specializes in unusual risks.”<
Gort wasn’t the first wine tester to get coverage from Thomas. He insured the senses of both taste and smell for wine taster Angela Mount for $20.1 million in 2003 for her bosses at British supermarket chain Somerfield.<

So this isn’t going to be some post about Christmas or if you bought enough Beaujolais last month to get you through your second turkey. Rather, I came upon a much-needed sensual-intellectual fact (as is always the case in wine) to cut through all this holiday overload. I’m considering popping my bottle of J. Schram Rose. That’s how close I am to my breaking point.

So here it is: Much of what we think of as wine’s flavor is actually its aroma. Don’t think you have a sophisticated palate? Actually, it’s rather evolved and complex. We can actually detect not 1,000, but 10,000 different odors. In fact, in 2004, two American scientists won the Nobel Prize for discovering the mechanism by which people detect smells. Among their findings: We can smell and later recall 10,000 different odors.

Ponder that at your Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa tables!