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Budget cut humor from The Onion

onion.jpgToday I sat through four hours of discussions about budget cuts, inadequate funding and deficits at a Senate Education Committee meeting in City Hall.  

Rather than bore you with the details, I thought I’d post a fitting piece of satire from one of my favorite publications:

Underfunded Schools Forced to Cut Past Tense From Language Programs

WASHINGTON—Faced with ongoing budget crises, underfunded schools nationwide are increasingly left with no option but to cut the past tense—a grammatical construction traditionally used to relate all actions, and states that have transpired at an earlier point in time—from their standard English and language arts programs.

Read the full article.

Katy Murphy

Education reporter for the Oakland Tribune. Contact me at kmurphy@bayareanewsgroup.com.

  • Jake

    School District budget cuts are an easy target for the Onion; the headline is practically a snowclone for satire.

    Here’s one from last year, which is painfully on mark when it comes to OUSD:
    “Underfunded School Lacks Resources To Calculate Student-To-Teacher Ratio”
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/53555

    And you know what? OUSD seems to have that exact problem:
    “Classroom Teacher Credential and Experience by School (2006-2007)–No Data Available!”
    http://209.77.220.74/portal/Profile17.asp

  • teacher

    I thought the best teacher protest was the one in S.F. a few years back when teachers stood on the median strips begging for pencils.

    Copy room wisdom in Oakland: “In the Middle East it’s water, in the world it’s oil, but in Oakland the scarcest resource is paper! We hoard it, we fight over it, we constantly seek it.”

  • John

    This is very disappointing news! I was so looking forward to refering to the Oakland Schools in the past tense. Do you think OUSD’s support of ‘past tense’ removal from its curriculum could be a self preservation strategy!? Doing away with the past tense would be a great way
    for the district to cover its recent through distant past. Remember the district’s “Ebonics resolution?” in an effort to grab Bilingual Education bucks? Remember when Superintendet Carolyn Getridge broke her contract to earn more bucks elsewhere while teachers had stay and honror their contracts under threat of losing their credential? Remember when Dennis Chaconas claimed he was in charge of student achievement and NOT district finances when the district was ‘suddenly’ discovered 80 million dollars short? Remember when Superintendant Carole Quan freaked out when the principal at Highland brought the deplorable physical condition of that school to the attention of a Tribune reporter? Rememember when etc. etc. etc? Suffice it to say the Oakland Unified School District will benefit greatly by doing away with the ‘past tense.’