Today in government class, we discussed the current spending trends of classmates and worked it back to how the recession impacted the United States. It showed how a lot of people are spending less, and spending more time with loved ones, and it reminded myself of a question I always ask myself:
For future employment, would I do it for money or happiness?
I’m scared. I’m so scared of taking a job where I’m doing it to support a mortgage and utilities and not to enhance my life. I would love it to do something where I have some talent, and then do it for the sake of my own happiness, but I’m sure that’s incredibly selfish. I argue with my mom at times about my conundrum, and my family’s point is clear. Work for the money, happiness comes with stability.
I worry if it’s my teenage rebellious attitude disagreeing with her.
Then again, I’ve never really considered money to be that big of a deal. I save when possible, but it seems like the dying dollar has not been my concern. All of our families are being negatively impacted by a problem that loaning has caused. Even some of my friends haven’t even felt the recession, spending more than usual. I’m part of this crowd. This is one of the reasons why I always feel like money is a problem in friendships and et cetera.
The worst part is that I don’t know the value of a dollar. I’ve never worked a day in my life, and I’m way too carefree with my wallet. I don’t care about buying my yearbook a bit late, but my mom does, and no matter how beneficial it would for me to try I can’t get it through my head that ten dollars does indeed matter. Even when my mom tells me that money for dinner is scarce, I understand what she’s saying, but I’m still not taking it in. Maybe I’m avoiding the problem.
So I’m stuck in a conundrum. Should I get a job where I’ll be happy, and develop skills for a job where employment is risky and it depends totally on practice and talent, or do I find a job where I am guaranteed some sense of stability?
It is incredibly easy for me to say, Yes I will do what it takes to study what makes me happy, and to do whatever it takes to make sure I am satisfied with my work, but sometimes I feel like my call to happiness is too romantic to work. At times I believe I’m too naive to know what happiness actually is. Maybe bliss is a house I own, and all debts paid off.
I’m working on scholarships and whatnot, but still the matters of economic welfare haven’t hit me yet. I’m going to college, I just don’t know what to do when I get there.