Okay…he’s not “baring it all” but how else could I get you to read this post?

David Beckham, the hunky soccer Brit who is prey to celeb gossip fodder will take time out of his schedule to make an appearance at Union Square Park at 5 p.m. June 18 (that’s next Wednesday).

Beckham will be coming to SF (sorry, Posh isn’t included in the schedule) in honor of his newest Emporio Armani underwear ad. Word has it that it’s supposed to be racy!

So all you drooling ladies and comfortable-with-my-sexuality men mark your calendars because the big D.B. is comin’ to town!

Here are the deets:

WHAT: In celebration of his newest Emporio Armani underwear ad David Beckham comes to San Francisco to continue to prove that he is pretty beyond comprehension.

DETAILS: The first 175 customers to purchase $200 or more of Emporio Armani Underwear from Macy’s Union Square men’s store and have the opportunity to meet David Beckham and get his autograph.

WHERE: Union Square Park, Downtown San Francisco

WHEN: 5 p.m. Wednesday, June 18.

Yeah, I was slated to be an Emporio Armani underwear model too, but they said my rugged handsomeness was too much to handle. They wanted something with a little more subtlety - like Beckham. But people have said I look like a Filipino David Beckham.

Ummm…I guess.

On Monday, I was excited to watch Swarovski Fashion Rocks for The Prince’s Trust, a fashion extravaganza that fused fashion and music with Alicia Keys wearing Armani, Joss Stone wearing Calvin Klein, Lily Allen wearing Chanel, Timbaland wearing Dolce & Gabbana and more!

Then I watched it and I was staring blankly at the screen without a glimmer of excitement in my eye. I was more entertained by watching the I’m F*cking Ben Affleck video for one hour straight.

I dont’ know what it was. Maybe it was because this was filmed a while back and the music they featured has been overplayed. Or maybe it’s because they featured older collections. Or maybe…I am burnt out on fashion. Wait a second…THAT’S BLASPHEMOUS!

As I was flipping through the latest issue of Details magazine, I was browsing through their list of summer must-haves called “The Details,” which is a great source of inspiration to add certain items to my wardrobe. Then I came across number 9 on their list: flip-flops.

I am an appreciator of fine fashion and tailoring, but there are certain things that I will not spend an arm and a leg for - flip-flops being one of them. The suggested some “high-caliber” rubber models. Here are the brands and their prices:

1. Hermes $250
2. Prada $140
3. Dior Homme by Hedi Slimane $215
4. Havaianas $15
5. D&G $85
6. Polo by Ralph Lauren $60
7. Y-3 $130

C’mon folks - these are just flip-flops. I guess if you have the money to spend, this would be okay, but why do that when you can buy a Mossimo pair at Target for $9 like I did? Even so, the $15 Havaianas are a decent price.

Like I said, I love these designers, but $250 for a pair of flip-flops? It is not that serious.

So through the red carpet gauntlet, I saw a bunch of glam. I am about to go into a couture seizure. So please forgive me if these blog posts are like a running commentary by a scatter-brained little pre-schooler with ADHD.

Ok, so let’s get into the NOW. I am looking at Nicole Kidman. She is blending in with the red carpet with this crimson qipao-ish number and it’s lovely - except for that plushy bow on her neck.

The commentators say she looks gorgeous - I agree except for that pillowy thing.

Now, before they sign off, the gaggling bunch of TV personalities are talking about Reese Witherspoon’s gown - and I just have to say one thing: FABULOUS. The simple eggplant gown has a modern slant with the tiered flowing bottom. I said it once - and I’ll say it again - eat your heart out Ryan.

So let’s backtrack a little bit, let’s talk American Idol. No, I’m not talking about Ryan Seacrest flashing his Calvin Klein undies, I’m talking about Jennifer Hudson, nominated for Dreamgirls. She stomped down the red carpet in some jeweled Manolos and a pocketed chocolatey Oscar de la Renta gown. I love it all - except for that bolero. It’s throws things off and is very spacey in a Patti LaBelle way.

As much as I loved the Devil Wears Prada, two of the stars of the film disappointed me in terms of style choices. Anne Hathaway went overboard with the diamonds and a Valentino dress that looked like a huge black butterfly was embedded on her chest. Then, the nominated Meryl Streep wore jewelry that looked like it was purchased at a gift shop from the Grand Canyon.

…but Emily Blunt saved the day in this shimmery blue number.

Miss Blunt with Michael Buble

Let me get back to Ryan Seacrest - as much as he annoys me, I admire his style. I, like him, am a fan of the skinny tie - and he sported one much like the Oscar nominated, “rising from the ashes” actor, Jackie Earle Haley (nominated for Little Children). Kudos to both for being the only adventurous males donning the narrow accessory.

As for some of the other adventurously successful celebs - Kelly Preston was playfully elegant in a animal print Dolce & Gabbana gown - not necessarily my favorite, but she rocked it. Jada Pinkett Smith seemed encased in a constricted dulled yellow bodice and a glorious mermaid bottom - but it’s anything but dull.

Bringing some brightness to the evening was Kate Winslet. I loved, loved LOVED this simple, yet modern take on a strappy Grecian-like gown. It was like a morsel of minty goodness:

So, let me take a little break from the celebs. I switched channels from E! to the preshow on ABC - and can I just comment in how adorably refined reporter, Lisa Ling looked? She was also sporting the whole “short-in-front, long-in-back” look. The dress was fabulous, her hair was fabulous - the whole look was simply fabulous. She was like a contemporary Asian Audrey Hepburn.

So let’s see what rapid fire celebs appeared: Gwyneth Paltrow in Zac Posen, Celine Dion in a simple green dress, but gaudy-in-a-good-way jewelry…Beyonce moved it to the left in her Armani…and can you believe it’s the first time she’s in the shadow of someone else? Oops! Did I say that out loud?

…ok, another break.