By Gary Bogue
Friday, July 6th, 2007 at 8:10 am in Crazy Press Releases.
Sexy Beast — canine style unleashed
It’s Friday, we’re in the middle of a miserable heat wave and it’s going to be stinking hot today, and I need to wade through this huge pile of press releases to see if there’s anything I can use in my column. What fun.
Press release #1:
“NEW YORK, NY — Even the most well-primped pooches get their paws dirty once in a while. Now your pup’s favorite scent will make bath time the best time. Sexy Beast, the luxury canine-care brand that created pet beauty is now debuting their highly-anticipated Shampoo and Conditioner. Along side their already lavish 3-step grooming system and award-winning Signature Fragrance, what more could your dog ask for?”
Press Release #2:
“Can a pet shampoo change the world? No. But it can eliminate the odor. Fresh Wave Odor Neutralizers for Stinky Pets NEW Fur Fresh Shampoo!!! For people who LOVE LIVING with their pets!!!”
Press Release #3:
“Good morning! With over 377 million pet owners in the U.S., the pet industry is booming. From bones to bed and bath, pet owners will do everything they can to keep their furry friends happy. Moen Incorporated recently conducted a survey to look into bathing habits for our beloved pets. The results are attached, along with a photo featuring man’s best friend and Moen’s new Inspire handheld seven-setting shower, available at Lowe’s stores nationwide.”
Press Release #4:
“Spice up your pet carrier for summer! In addition to the new carrier options on the market, an alternative is jazzing up your current carrier with colorful handkerchiefs, ribbons, or some artful sewing.”
Press Release #5:
“Barking by day and snoring by night? If that sounds like your dog, then the answer just may well be a breakthrough new product called SnoreStop For Pets, believed to be the world’s first drug-free, all-natural solution for the relief of canine (and feline) snoring. Interested in trying samples? Where shall we send them?”
AAARRRGGGHHH! That’s it!
I think I’ll go outside and stand in the sun and sweat for awhile.