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Know anything about holes?

By Gary Bogue
Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 at 6:14 am in Holes.

Some day I’m going to write a book about “holes.”
Holes come in all shapes and sizes: big holes, little holes, round holes, odd-shaped holes, caves, etc. There are full holes, empty holes, holes waiting to be occupied, and holes that sit around all day just being holes.

There are snake holes, lizard holes, squirrel holes, gopher holes, mole holes, burrowing owl holes and anthills, which is a whole lot of little holes rolled into one.

At this point I suspect you’re starting to realize, like me, that there are lots of different kinds of holes.

For example, there are:
Vent holes, pin holes, nest holes, knot holes, drain holes, black holes, fox holes, caves, pits, grottos, craters, nostrils (left nostrils and right nostrils), ear holes, gopher holes, dens, cavities, hollows, openings, apertures, wells, chasms, lairs, pockets, indentations, voids, depressions, bowls, dips, recesses, fissures, cracks, tears, clefts, orifices, gaps, funnels, channels, glens, canyons, vales, ravines, dents, concavities, dimples, niches, alcoves, crannies, rents, slits, breaches, rifts, breaks, clefts, chinks, perforations, ditches, trenches, coulees, dells, crevasses, pokes, nicks, nooks, gashes, incisions, ruptures, flaws, furrows, grooves, cuts, notches, scrapes, openings, lacerations, wounds, breaches, disruptions, hernias, clefts, gashes, serrations, burrows, excavations, scoops, perforations, scratches, and pores … just to name a few.

So where do all these holes come from?

There are the hole makers: tarantula hawks, gophers, moles, voles, field mice, ground squirrels, kangaroo rats, foxes, badgers and anteaters, just off the top of my head.

And of course the freeloading hole-users: tiger salamanders, snakes, burrowing owls, alligator lizards, Western fence lizards, Western toads, tarantulas and slugs, and quite a few more.

Broom-handle-size holes are probably made by voles. Holes twice that size were probably excavated by ground squirrels or very large gophers. Really BIG holes might have been dug by a badger, or maybe a teamster driving a bulldozer.

If you fall into a hole it might be a pit. If you’re unable to climb out, that pit might really be a crater (especially if you’re on the moon), and if you finally hit bottom and can’t see the top of the hole, it’s definitely a gorge. If you’re still falling all the time you’re reading all this, that hole may be a chasm. A really DEEP one.

If you bend down to get a better look at a hole and see a bunch of spider webs inside, there’s nobody living in the hole but spiders. If there are no webs across the front of the hole, the hole is obviously occupied by something else.

But that’s another book. /Gary

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One Response to “Know anything about holes?”

  1. Kris Carlin Says:

    What is the most effective way to shoo away a gopher out of your yard, our lawn is a mess! Have dogs and cats.

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