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Twas (sort of) the Night Before Christmas …

By Gary Bogue
Thursday, December 16th, 2010 at 7:59 am in Cats.

Hammy & Bo by Chris O’Connell
xmas cats

I really enjoy your column and often see references to unusual behavior that cats exhibit, which makes me feel a little better that we are not the only ones with “challenges.”  Our little weapons of mass destruction joined our family about three years ago and life has never been the same.  Having had single cats all my life, I imagined that getting a brother and sister would be fun — watching them cuddle and play together and keep each other company when we’re away.  Well, they do that, but they also seem to do it all at about 100 miles an hour and have no boundaries — very different from all my past experiences. But they also have brought a world of love and laughter and never cease to amuse and amaze us.

Today I wrote my own version of “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” So here it is — hope you enjoy it!  And yes, that’s a picture of Hammy and Bo — asleep at last!
Chris O’Connell, Moraga, Calif.

Hammy & Bo by Chris O’Connell
xmas cats

Hammy & Bo’s Night Before Christmas
by Chris O’Connell

Twas the night before Christmas, and I looked all around
“Something’s not right,” I said with a frown
The tree was still standing, the angel was there
So were the stockings I’d hung with such care
I was really exhausted, so I headed to bed
But I still had the feeling I had something to dread
The house was so quiet – not one little peep
I soon found I’d fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep
When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
I ran down the hallway, threw open the door
And saw Christmas cookies all over the floor
The stars were half eaten, the snowmen were blind
And the cute little mittens? Not a one could I find
And there in the carnage sat Hammy and Bo
Washing themselves from whisker to toe
All through the house my scream could be heard
And even perhaps an inappropriate word
Away they both flew, those two little kitties
I chased them and screamed, “I’ll get you my pretties”
Up on the mantel they flew like a flash
Jumped on the tree; down it came with a crash
Under the table and over the chair
Bounced off the TV and into the air
Down they came on the stockings; the candy it flew
Then what do you think those two vermin did do?
Up the chimney they went, to escape from my wrath
Leaving treasures and sweets strewn in their path
But I knew the one thing that would bring them right back
Was the offer of food – they can’t resist any snack
So I called the word “treat” and without any sound
Down the chimney two bodies came with a bound
Yes they were dressed all in fur from their heads to their foots
And yes they were covered with ashes and soots
But the resemblance to Santa ended right there
These were evil no-gooders spreading their terror
I gave them their crunchies, they looked so darn cute
Lucky for them I didn’t give them the boot
Worn out and weary and needing some sleep
I fell on the couch into cushions so deep
The house became quiet, the damage was done
The battle was lost, once again they had won
Then ever so quiet, they crept up on me
Kneaded a bit, then curled up by my knee
The silence was broken by their sweet little purring
At last in our house not a creature was stirring
I smiled to myself thinking how life had changed
All the valuables gone and the house rearranged
But even with all the trouble they cause
I wouldn’t trade the world for those eight little paws
So we three settled in; everything felt just right
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Ho! Ho! Ho! /Gary

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2 Responses to “Twas (sort of) the Night Before Christmas …”

  1. Margie Says:

    What little angels! Merry Christmas Hammy & Bo…

  2. Barbara Says:

    Note to Chris O’Connell: Very cute and creative rendition! Atticus gets a younger sister the day after Christmas; and needless to say, I am scared witless. Cats have always owned me; but never two kittens. Happy Holidays!

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