Puttin’ on the kicks

PalofoxAs promised by today’s story on a shoe fanatic’s passion turned into a play at Chabot College, here are The 10 Sneaker Commandments by Kevin Palofox:

1. Thou shalt always bring heat!!!!

You always got to have a fly pair of shoes on. You want to be walking down the street breaking necks, meaning people are turning and looking hard at your kicks (shoes).

2. Thou shalt not rock (wear) beaters even if they are vintage.

Even if you have a pair of original Air Jordans 1’s from 1984 — which is cool because they’re classic — they’re more than likely to be beat up because they’re so old. You don’t want to look like you took your shoes from a bum. Really, you want to always be wearing something nice and crispy.

3. Three is the magic number.

One pair to rock, one to store for the future and one to store, lose and later find to rock (wear) 10 years from now.

4. Thou shalt not camp out less than six to 12 hours for a highly anticipated release, or no more than two days.

Beyond that, you really have no hookup or no life. If you don’t put in the time, you’ll most likely lose out in getting the goods, but if you put in too much time — like, say, two days in line — then that’s pretty extreme.

5. Thou shalt not exceed or recede more than one, maybe 1.5 shoe sizes.

You just don’t want to look stupid. I’ve seen people rock shoes too big for them and it’s just a bad look. Plus, the toe creases just look nasty.

6. Thou shall not rock heaters in the rain or snow unless they are protected.

Just don’t wear dope shoes during natural disasters, period. Check weather.com. It’ll be your best friend to protect your sneakers. One time I was in Las Vegas and it was raining. I didn’t want to step out of the van, but I saw two plastic bags so I wrapped them around my shoes. I walked the strip in some plastic bags just to protect my sneakers!

7. Thou shalt not wear the same pair in the same week.

You want to flip your rotation up so you can show people what you have. Switch it around. Show some variety.

8. Thou cannot wear the same sneakers as a friend, acquaintance, associate, cousin on the same day.

This is the equivalent of girls going to a party only to see another girl is wearing the same dress. Unless it’s a special occasion, you really don’t want to do this because it makes you look like a biter (copy cat).

9. Never reveal your sneaker source.

People who have been collecting shoes for a while have their spots. You want to keep this a secret because you don’t want people going there and taking your stuff.

10. Though shalt never wear fakes!!

Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. Well, the same can be said here. Friends just don’t let friends wear fakes.