Part of the Bay Area News Group

Why the Beastie Boys were really great

By Tony Hicks
Monday, May 7th, 2012 at 7:30 pm in Uncategorized

I’ve seen so many Beastie Boys tributes, but none of them touched on what I think was the greatest thing about those guys. Read the rest of this entry »

David Lee Roth gets mad

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, March 15th, 2012 at 6:59 pm in Uncategorized

Holy cow. Read the rest of this entry »

Weird Al and an impressionable child

By Tony Hicks
Monday, March 5th, 2012 at 9:12 am in Uncategorized

My wife made the mistake of allowing the 9-year-old to watch a Weird Al DVD with the 3-year-old in the room on Friday night. Read the rest of this entry »

Charlize Theron should act dumber

By Tony Hicks
Sunday, February 26th, 2012 at 5:17 pm in Uncategorized

Do I watch too much Arrested Development? Every time I see Charlize Theron – like that Dior commercial just now where she’s being all glamorous and shaking it on the runway for Dior – why do I think she should be wearing something stupid on her head and babbling incoherently with a British accent?

Abraham Lincoln was like Buffy, only taller.

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 at 2:51 pm in Uncategorized

So the trailer for “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer” is out, and is causing quite a stir. Because, apparently people didn’t know old Abe was a vamp hunter in addition to all his other notable achievements.

Finally – someone makes a movie holding historical accuracy sacred.

Apparently Abe held a grudge because vampires killed his mother, and was an axe-wielding Ninja. It looks like a terrible amount of fun.  What I’m really concerned about was whether or not the Confederates were really a vampire army. Which would actually explain a lot that, for legal reasons, I can’t get into here. I’m just hoping the North has most of the nukes.

Watch it here.

Riot guitarist dies

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, January 26th, 2012 at 1:37 pm in Uncategorized

Mark Reale, a founding guitar player of the incredibly underrated 80s New York metal band Riot (not Quiet), died Wednesday due to complications of Crohn’s disease.

Though they had their ups and downs, the band’s “Fire Down Under” is considered by many (my friends and I) to be one of the greatest hard rock records of its time.  And it still holds up. It was so great that, in an air-jam competition in high school, we did “The Outlaw,” with me so desperate for over-the-top heavy metal accessories, I actually took my mother’s cheese grater and hung it from my belt. And sliced up my hand trying to do fake windmills. I think I was also wearing a red shirt with Japanese writing on it that said something like “I’d like my sushi to go.”

I also saw Riot in 1984, I believe, at Berkeley Community Theater, on the same bill as KISS and Vandenberg. That’s right – KISS had to cram their stage in that venue.

Riot had maybe the strangest mascot of all hard rock mascots back then – a guy with the head of a baby harp seal. I think it was a guy – either that or it was a harp seal with the body of a guy. I still have my Fire Down Under LP – I think I may get it out tonight.

The greatest thing a wife can say to her husband

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, January 5th, 2012 at 1:07 pm in Uncategorized

I received the following e-mail from my wife this morning. And it was glorious: Read the rest of this entry »

New Green Day

By Tony Hicks
Friday, November 4th, 2011 at 3:45 pm in Uncategorized

Green Day previewed six new songs at a surprise show Tuesday at the Mezzanine in San Francisco, leading one to believe that it shouldn’t be long before the Easy Bay punk kings release a new record. Read the rest of this entry »

Lindsay Lohan off to jail

By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011 at 11:09 am in Uncategorized

So much for today’s People Column Read the rest of this entry »

Birth as art, X-rated Muppet channel, Spock comes out

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, October 18th, 2011 at 3:59 pm in Uncategorized

All that and more, on this week’s version of Three Minute News Throwdown. Read the rest of this entry »