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Panhandling for Pizza

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, August 21st, 2007 at 12:31 pm in Uncategorized.

Don’t you love it when you get out to a restaurant with a big group of friends and, after wolfing down as much food and drink as you could possibly force into one stomach, you take out your wallet … and all that emerges is the sound of crickets.

Right, me neither. It never happened.

However…if you WERE out with your softball team on a Monday night, celebrating a recent league championship, and such a thing happened…it would be, I imagine, a bit unsettling. Especially if your 18-year-old stepdaughter still hasn’t sent you her car payment because she’s in Singapore doing God knows what (guitar shopping, apparently) and you’re fairly certain your bank balance won’t allow a trip to the gumball machine at the front of the store.


Anyways, if your girlfriend didn’t bring any money (after all, it’s not her softball team) – and you weren’t about to borrow money from a teammate (even if one of them is your aunt, who threw you a big birthday party two days earlier), what would you do? Do dishes? Do a quick panhandling trip around the strip mall? See if the restaurant would hold your girlfriend’s 5-year-old daughter ransom until you came back with the cash? All options were on the table.

Thankfully, our wonderful corner infielder/screaming linedrive specialist J.J., who just happened upon a stroke of good luck somewhere, had some ducats to spare. The positive feeling in the air (minus my sweaty panic) prompted her to pick almost all the bill. Which allowed me to scrape up our share in balled up one-dollar bills.

That’s a good teammate right there. That’s somebody who, if she went to Singapore, would still pay her bills on time.

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