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Playing Possum

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 at 3:50 pm in Uncategorized.

I just had an encounter with a wild animal in my front yard last night. And I’m pretty sure Gary Bogue would approve of my methods.

Then again …

There was a ruckus next door, and my roommate came in from the front yard, saying the neighbors reported a possum was trapped on the fence, between the top and some lattice on my neighbor’s side.

Well, I wasn’t about to stand for that – especially since I used to tackle alligators for a living with Steve Irwin in Australia.

I climbed up on the fence, which may have startled my neighbors some, since they were keeping a safe 500-yard cushion between themselves and the beast. I surveyed the situation. Yep, there it was. A possum. A small possum. A hissing possum.

A possum with really sharp teeth.

I observed it for a few minutes, initiating a brief conversation with the animal, during which it refused to tell me whether it was actually trapped or not. So my next move was straight out of the official textbook of how to handle wild animals in or around your house.

I poked it with a stick.

The possum apparently didn’t like that. It hissed, then growled something in possum language to the effect of “Get that stick away from my arse, or I’ll be forced to eat the skin from your face.” But it also wasn’t trapped anymore. The last I saw of my little friend, he was running down the fence toward my backyard, screaming expletives until swallowed by darkness.

I don’t recommend anyone else try my methods for saving wildlife. I’m a professional.

I probably also have an angry possum moving into my backyard, biding its time …

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