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Charlie Sheen and Lawyers

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, October 4th, 2007 at 1:26 pm in Uncategorized.

Charlie Sheen is nuts. And maybe not in the good way many of us previously thought. Then again, decide for yourself.

I almost sent my lawyer that story, just so he knows how good of a client I am.

I love lawyers. They make no bones about the idea they could, if necessary, charge you by the eyeblink and actually bill you with a stunning degree of accuracy. I stopped by to drop some documents off at my lawyer’s office the other day. It was between noon and 1, so I wasn’t sure if he was at lunch. It didn’t matter, I reasoned, because I was supposed to just drop this stuff off.

Nope, he was there. We had to sit down and talk about the paperwork, on which I’d pasted little yellow sticky notes, explaining what each one was.

Now, once you make eye contact, enter the same room, or acknowledge each other in any way, the meter starts running. So we sat down, and he makes a crack about me having the gall to stop by at lunchtime.

And I’m thinking “I just spent my monthly phone bill pulling this here chair out from this here conference table and sitting down. And he’s complaining I’m cutting into his lunch?” A half hour later, I had to start calculating whether the Jedi mind trick can be used on bill collectors over the phone. “You don’t need a payment from me this month – I’ve already paid.”

I’d be a terrible Jedi.

I really like this lawyer, though. He’s honest and has a good sense of humor, which is important when a lawyer is distracting you with big words while reaching into your wallet to get your credit card numbers. After a court hearing earlier this year, we were standing in the hallway, joking around and talking about anything and everything but my case. We might’ve been talking about Charlie Sheen – I don’t know. But it sure as heck wasn’t my case.

Suddenly I looked at him and said “Hey, are you charging me for this conversation?”

He smiled even wider. “Oh yeah, I sure am.”

I suddenly had an appointment to get to. This guy’s a good conversationalist, but nobody’s that good.

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