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Frozen Pizza ALERT!!

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, November 1st, 2007 at 4:52 pm in Uncategorized.

Holy Cow. A national crisis is brewing. This isn’t funny at all.

It’s one thing when they’re talking about minor inconveniences, like infected cows, or lead paint in toys. Or exploding Pintos. But the ramifications of a national recall of 5 million frozen pizza because of a potential E. coli contamination are staggering. It has the potential of being a real disaster, the likes of which we haven’t seen since the bageldog crisis of 1989.

Especially for me.

My mind is spinning and I’m breaking into a sweat, trying to remember how many of these things I’ve eaten lately. I’ve never had to keep track of how many frozen pizzas I’ve eaten. Eating frozen pizza comes as naturally as breathing, sleeping, or turning the radio off when a Billy Joel song comes on.

This particular brand of E. coli has the potential of shutting down a guy’s kidneys. It’s already done it to four people, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Great. As if my kidneys don’t have enough to worry about.

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2 Responses to “Frozen Pizza ALERT!!”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    What the hell’s going on these days? There were Moran’s frozen burgers several months ago, and just a few weeks ago there were the Banquet pot pies (which are still sitting in our freezer waiting to be returned) and now pizza.

    Perhaps someone is trying to tell us that maybe we should try..like COOKING or something. (shudder)

  2. Vinnie Ballgame Says:

    This wouldn’t be a problem if instead you were eating…you know the rest. Like you could at Todos Santos Plaza on a fine autumn day when the lawn is littered…with nuts.