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J-Lo Fesses Up

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, November 8th, 2007 at 6:23 am in Uncategorized.

Finally. J-Lo fessed up last night at a Miami concert that she is with child.

Us Weekly called the crowd “stunned.”

What? This is about as stunning as the revelation that David Lee Roth may or may not be the most masculine fellow on the planet.

Have the folks in Miami been under the assumption that J-Lo has changed her backstage foodtray from Perrier and veggies to Ding-Dongs and Hawaiian Punch?

Which, by the way, is a great breakfast combo.

This new trend of celebrity women not admitting to being pregnant until the baby’s head is halfway out while mommy strolls the red carpet is pretty irritating. Sure, OK — so hardly anyone admits it during the first trimester. We’ll give them that long. I myself have been accused of hiding my pregnancy, until someone sits down for lunch with me and ends up losing a finger.

But let’s get it out there. If the folks at Entertainmet Tonight were responsible journalists, they’d somehow fool Angelina Jolie into peeing into one of those little popsicle stick thingies, and reveal the results on national TV. We need to know, so we can be diverted from things that really matter. Or, better yet, civic-minded celebrities should sell their pregnancy test to the highest-bidding TV show, with proceeds going to charity. Angelina Jolie wants to save the world. She can pee on a stick on cable TV. We’ll all be better for it.

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