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Criminal Dwarves

By Tony Hicks
Friday, January 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm in Uncategorized.

A colleague just mentioned to me that certain managers around here consider me to be a juvenile-deliquent type.

Seriously. He said that. About me.

 I think I’m offended.

But never mind that – you have to hear this AWESOME story about criminal dwarves in Sweden.  Gangs are jamming dwarves into suitcases – presumably with their permission – so they can get into the cargo holds of passenger trains.

Once the little thugs get in there, they unzip themselves and root through everybody’s else’s luggage, stealing cash, jewelry and other valuables. When the train gets to its destination, they zip themselves back into the luggage and make their escape.

A police spokesman in Stockholm said “We are looking at our records to identify criminals of limited stature.”

I’m assuming that includes Mini-Me, the guy who played Simon Bar Sinister in the “Underdog,” movie, and Tom Cruise.

Meanwhile, I think I’ve come up with a new “hobby” for my six-year-old.

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5 Responses to “Criminal Dwarves”

  1. HeyJoe Says:

    What a great idea. I’ve got to get me some dwarf friends.

  2. Danny Says:

    I’m curious how they found out it was dwarves. Did one of the bags sneeze (or worse) on the way out of the station? Or did one of the baggage handlers injure one of the little guys.
    Also, are there really gangs in Sweeden? I thought they just made hot blondes and mush-mouth chefs!

  3. Tony Hicks Says:

    I don’t think they have Bloods and Crips there. Maybe they have gangs of blonde women who moonlight as mush-mouth chefs.
    By the way, what’s a mush-mouth chef?

  4. Danny Says:

    It was a vague reference to the Sweedish Chef of Muppets fame. Bork bork bork!

  5. Vinnie Ballgame Says:

    Were you on better terms with those flesh-eating squirrels…your recruiting efforts wouldn’t require bothering your daughter.