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School Bans Bodily Function

By Tony Hicks
Monday, February 4th, 2008 at 3:03 pm in Uncategorized.

It’s been a while since I’ve perused the Constitution but, if I remember correctly, this was one of the rights for which the Founding Fathers fought the British so hard. And I was working on a minor in political science when I quit college, so I totally know this stuff. I’m practically Ben Franklin.

Besides, how can school officials determine whether flatulence is intentional or not?

Well, OK, maybe they can … you know, if there’s flames and giggling involved. Still, I thought we lived in America, not the Soviet Union. What’s next … the government tapping our phone lines without court orders? 

I would think this would take care of itself, once one of those kids goes too far and suffers a really terrible accident in front of a classroom full of his peers. That’s not something a guy would ever live down.

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