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Health Care Providers

By Tony Hicks
Sunday, February 24th, 2008 at 4:19 pm in Uncategorized.

I think I’ve finally figured out why we spend so much friggin money on health care in this country: Because of all the actors health care providers have to hire to stand in wheat fields and look happy on their literature.

That and printing gazilions of these things to send to me every week.

The latest is titled: “My Asthma.” I’ve deduced their spies somehow found out I have asthma. Ok, fine. But whomever decided to put a smiling woman spreading a pretty scarf over her head in the middle of a – you guessed it – wheat field – has apparently no idea about asthma.

For one thing, if she had asthma and was in a wheat field at dusk, she’d have an inhaler sticking out of her mouth.

If they wanted to portray “My Asthma” correctly, they’d show someone red-faced and sweating, gasping for air and clutching a bathroom sink with empty inhalers scattered about, waiting for the ambulance. 

Seriously, how stupid do these people think we are? Do they think that, somehow by picture-association, we’ll begin to believe that these diseases are happy things? I realize they can’t exactly show someone laid out on the floor with a paramedic jamming a needle full of adreneline into their chest. But good God, if I have asthma, I don’t need a booklet bigger than my employee handbook, suggesting I do things like remember to take my medicine and go to the doctor if my meds don’t work.

Then again, it seems to work for the guy in the picture at the beach, squatting down with his blond-haired, blue-eyed son, smiling and pointing at the ocean. There are more pictures of elderly couples running down the beach and happily washing their cars in this thing than in an hourlong Viagra infomercial.

I’d write more, but I have to go plop down my $30 co-pay for an inhaler the size of my thumb.  


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