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Archive for February, 2008

Worst Thing I’ve Ever Heard

Wow, this is pretty terrible.  A woman recently died during her first dance with her new husband.

That guy is not going to have a pleasant Valentine’s Day … maybe ever. 

On the bright side, at least they weren’t married long enough to start disliking each other.

Don’t mind me – I’m just too insensitive for women to like me.

Posted on Sunday, February 10th, 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

School Bans Bodily Function

It’s been a while since I’ve perused the Constitution but, if I remember correctly, this was one of the rights for which the Founding Fathers fought the British so hard. And I was working on a minor in political science when I quit college, so I totally know this stuff. I’m practically Ben Franklin.

Besides, how can school officials determine whether flatulence is intentional or not?

Well, OK, maybe they can … you know, if there’s flames and giggling involved. Still, I thought we lived in America, not the Soviet Union. What’s next … the government tapping our phone lines without court orders? 

I would think this would take care of itself, once one of those kids goes too far and suffers a really terrible accident in front of a classroom full of his peers. That’s not something a guy would ever live down.

Posted on Monday, February 4th, 2008
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Snoop and Larry King

Please do yourself a favor and watch Larry King and Snoop Dogg enjoy a fine meal at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles (which, by the way, is some of the yummiest food on the planet).

I can’t decide if this video is the cutest, or most horrific thing, I’ve ever seen. It is entertaining though – almost as entertaining as watching the Patriots lose the Super Bowl. 

Posted on Monday, February 4th, 2008
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Matt Damon’s New Girlfriend

I thought this was hilarious. Which likely means many of you won’t.

Posted on Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
Under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »