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Tatum on Crack

By Tony Hicks
Monday, June 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 pm in Uncategorized.

So much for Tatum O’Neal’s long road to sobriety.

O’Neal, who wrote a book about her drug-addiction and rotten, child-star life in 2004, then said many, many fascinating things on Oprah, got busted for buying crack Sunday night in New York.

That’s really dumb. I mean, what recognizable celebrity doesn’t send someone else to get their drugs for them? Doesn’t she have children? At least have them delivered.

That’s a little joke. As a good father, I never send my children to get my drugs.

That’s another little joke, person in HR who’s reading this while breaking out the plastic cup and saying to themself “Hmmm, this explains a lot of what this guy writes.”

I don’t do drugs. And I’ll write a book to prove it …

She allegedly told the cops, according to the New York Post, that she was “researching” a part. Doesn’t that seem to be the trendy excuse for celebrities getting caught these days? Besides, of all people on the planet, Tatum O’Neal is probably the last person who needs to research how to buy drugs. She should be giving classes to other actors on how to do it properly. 

Here’s hoping Tatum O’Neal gets through this and gets back on the wagon.

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4 Responses to “Tatum on Crack”

  1. HeyJoe Says:

    Researching a part would assume she’s UP for the part, which in itself is a joke.

    And crack? How 1980′s. How New Jack City. How Gator.

  2. Tony Hicks Says:

    I started to make the same “up for a part” joke, until I realized she’s been on TV regularly lately. I would only know if she was on a runway model show, because that’s all I watch. O if she wanted to rock Bret Michael’s world … or maybe if she was hauling Alaskan king crab on a boat full of men. Hey, now THAT would be a great reality show … Tatum O’ Neal out on a fishing boat with six lonely, sleep-deprived sailors …

  3. ontheedgeofacliff Says:

    basically when she means up for the part, it means she needs crack to be “up for the part” so she wont forget her lines, I think.

  4. Tony Hicks Says:

    Excellent point.