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Stupid Teens and Alligators

By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm in Uncategorized.

I remember when I was 18 – I was quite stupid. I could write a book about what 18-year-olds should not do because they’re too stupid not to be locked up until they turn 30.

But I wasn’t this stupid.

Kasey Edwards, who grew up in Florida around alligators, went swimming after drinking beer with other stupid people (yet he swears the beer had nothing to do with what happened – though I suppose it didn’t have to, as 18-year-olds are quite stupid with having to add beer to up the stupidity quotient).

Anyways, you can already guess what happened by reading a few key words from this post – unless you happen to be 18. Then you might not, because, essentially, you are stupid. I’m sorry for that – maybe you’ll grow out of it, maybe you won’t. But … the key words would be “stupid” “alligators” “beer” and “Florida.”

Please read Kasey’s story here and return.

Thanks for coming back. So, as you probably guessed, Kasey is now missing his left arm. And it’s not his fault. It’s those damned animal rights activists. Because they made Kasey go swimming in a canal he knew was home to alligators.

But Kasey – who seems to smile a lot for a guy whose arms was chewed off by a giant reptile – says God was with him that day … when he was almost eaten by an alligator.

Now, I’m a bit cynical and not 18, but I’m pretty sure, if God was with Kasey, he would not have let him be so stupid as to go swimming in a canal with an 11-foot alligator.

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3 Responses to “Stupid Teens and Alligators”

  1. John Wayne Gacy Says:

    Kids. God bless ’em.

  2. Danny Says:

    First off, putting ‘stupid’ and ‘Florida’ is redundant. You can just stick with Floridian and the stupidity is implied. Secondly, one has to wonder what the alligator thought when it was unable to kill off a drunk 18-year-old Floridian. It must have been slightly drunk itself for that to happen. Drinking to much of that Okeechobee water. Maybe if he was carrying a fish, or a turtle, or a bird or something, he would have gotten away fine. That’s the lesson I’m taking away from this. Keep a turtle with you when swimming at 2:30 in the morning with alligators. Maybe I’ll print up some T-shirts.

  3. The Joker Says:

    Wouldn’t you think that if “God was with him”, God would have prevented him from taking aswim in an alligator infested canal in the first place? Just a thought…