By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 at 4:50 pm in Uncategorized.
After a long discussion with editors over whether the word “zero” has an “es” when it goes plural, yet “hero” has just the “s,” I’m taking matters into my own hands. Don’t ask for an explanation because I don’t know why I do anything.
So we’ve been having some discussions recently over a daily blog item in which we would, by late-afternoon, select the day’s “winner” and “loser.” The name is still in flux because, frankly, we couldn’t find a word as cool as “ninja” to call the losers.
So now I’d like to introduce our “Heroes and Zeros” feature, which we’ll run daily … unless I’m sick, tired, kidnapped, vacationing, dead, or I forget and/or just don’t want to do it.
Let’s start with today’s HERO: Tony Gonzalez, the former UC Berkeley tight end and power forward currently carving out a hall-of-fame career with the Kansas City Chiefs. Gonzalez was at dinner the other night in Huntington Beach when a man at the next table started choking on a piece of meat. Since no one else was doing anything – and the guy’s girlfriend was screaming, which was probably really irritating – Gonzalez got up and performed the Heimlich maneuver. Which was really gutsy as Gonzalez isn’t trained for that sort of thing and has way more money than 99 percent of the human population.
ZERO: So many from which to choose. I doubt we’ll have a hard time picking this, with our local juvenile hall accidentally releasing suspected killers and the Hans Reisers of the world finally confessing they killed their wives to get a lighter sentence. But let’s not get too serious. As of now, I say Alex Rodriguez is schmo of the day … and yesterday, and probably the day before. The guy has a hot wife and two young kids at home, yet chases Madonna like he’s a puppy and she has a pocket full of meat – which we can’t confirm, but still have our best reporters on it. There are even reports he was at Madonna’s house mere hours after his latest baby was born. Now his wife – who’s hot – is divorcing him and, despite reports they may or may not have a prenup, will walk away with a large portion of money. He’ll still have money, his career, and his looks. But he also has to explain this to his kids one day. Or maybe they can read about it in a book by Jose Canseco.
And no, we won’t be writing about athletes every time we do this. They were just the easy choices today.
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