By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008 at 4:57 pm in Uncategorized.
Wasn’t that a bad 80s song that had something to do with “Staying Alive,” “Flashdance”-ing or otherwise cutting loose with “Footloose” or some other awesome movie about a dancing underdog?
Anyway, unless someone can come with a good idea, I’m eliminating the hero side of Heroes and Zeros today. Simply put, I’m not finding anyone very heroic. I’d say Estelle Getty because she made my grandmother laugh so much, but let’s not get in the habit of making people heroes just because they manage to die. So, if you have an idea, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave me a comment below.
I mean, I could’ve named myself. I cleaned half my desk, which is pretty brave considering the deadly bacteria that’s been churned up around me the past two hours. Otherwise, let’s try again tomorrow. But, of course, there’s never a shortage of scumbags on this planet. So we now continue with:
ZERO: Stanley Kobierowski, a 34-year-old Rhode Island man who was arrested Tuesday driving with a blood alcohol level of .491. That’s right — he was something like six times the legal limit.
Not surprisingly, the police nabbed him after he drove into a highway message board.
My favorite part of the story was the policeman saying he thought the guy has a drinking problem. You think? Fortunately for him, he was taken to the hospital to detox. Unfortunately, that detoxing may have spared him the biggest non-fatal hangover in history.
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