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One BIG FAT Zero

By Tony Hicks
Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 10:31 pm in Uncategorized.

I’ve been terribly remiss – if that’s the right word. I’m pretty sure I heard Michael Caine say it in one of the 1,467 films he’s been in, and he speaks so gosh darned fancy, I figured I have to give it a try.

What was I talking about … oh yeah. I’ve had some time off and I have my kid back for another chunk of summer, so the blog has suffered. My bad. In fact, after a whole day at Alcatraz with the kids today, I’m too tired to find a hero. but I’ve got a zero to hold you over until tomorrow afternoon …

ZERO: Richard Cooey, a 41-year-old inmate in Columbus Ohio who, for committing some heinous crimes including rape and murder, is scheduled to die soon. I’m not fan of the death penalty for many reasons, but it sure is easier to worry less about these guys as I get older. Cooey is a funny one, though. Out of all the excuses I’ve heard for guys not getting executed – and don’t get me wrong, if I was one of ’em, I’d try anything and everything. But, as a 5’7″, 267-pound man, Cooey says he’s too fat to be put to death.

Maybe so, but he makes a great argument for more veggies on death row.

He says he’s too fat and they won’t be able to find his veins for the injection. Wonder if he needed a lifesaving IV, he’d pass on that, saying his veins are too fat. Again, I’m not a big fan of the death penalty at all, but were I the warden, I’d just put him on a diet and wait him out. Maybe the Ohio tax payers could buy him a stairmaster…

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