HERO: The good old U. S. of A. I won’t pretend to like anything about the last eight years of our government. In fact I’m thinking … I’m thinking … nope, nothing. But today may be a first, as Russia gave us an ultimatum to be their BFF, or Georgia’s. And we picked … Georgia! Right on. Without getting into details, it’s about time we stood up for a little guy. Of course, I believe they have a couple giant oil pipelines there …

Now if those sissies at NBC would stop sucking up to China.

ZERO: Why mess with a good theme? Today’s – and this week’s – Zero is again China, which called my house last night when they discovered my 2-month-old daughter is 1/16th Chinese and may have better-than-average flexibility. They want her for the 2016 Olympics.

Seriously, how old are those gymnast/children? Some of them still have their baby teeth.