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Big (foot) Heroes and Zeros

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 at 5:32 pm in Uncategorized.

ZERO: This was a tough one. Should we make the two losers who tried to convince us last week they found a dead Bigfoot with a big press conference in Palo Alto, our daily zero? Or should it be the people who believed that picture of a bad gorilla suit was really a dead Bigfoot?

Let’s go with the two guys who found it. Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer were exposed as hoaxes (!) Monday, after experts and Stanford anthropologist (who was indentified as a participant in the “project”) said it was all so much bat droppings.

Worse for these guys, I spoke with the real Bigfoot, and he’s not happy … mostly because these guys said he lived in Georgia, and Bigfoot just isn’t down with the ATL. They can expect a nighttime visit from a large, foul-smelling hairy creature (and when I’m done with them, Bigfoot has a few things to say … ba-dum-dum pshhh).

HERO: Bigfoot, of course. He’s still out there … if he hasn’t returned to his planet with the aliens from the Six Million Dollar Man.

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3 Responses to “Big (foot) Heroes and Zeros”

  1. B. Foote Says:

    The Six Million Dollar Man had it all wrong too. I do not look anything like Mick Fleetwood as the clip would suggest.

    I am “in search of” a good beer with Leonard Nimoy.

    Chat with you in a few years when a couple of other idiots think they’ve found me.

  2. HeyJoe Says:

    I totally remember that episode of the 6Mil$man, AND the hokey revolving ice tunnel (which I toured at Universal Studios circa 1977 or so) Good times.

  3. Sonia Says:

    I think the real heroes are the gentlemen (and I use that term loosely) who were out front rockin’ their Bigfoot costumes and picketing at the press conference.

    I wonder if those guys are single …