By Tony Hicks
Monday, October 27th, 2008 at 5:39 pm in Uncategorized.
To which I must say: PLEASE STOP!
A few morbidly curious people went and saw Rambo (or was it 5?), and now suddenly this old actor, who gobbles steroids like my 6-year-old eats Halloween candy, has decided it’s time for another go-round. Really, haven’t we run out of ominously witty one-liners?
The only way another Rambo movie would be acceptable is if the character becomes a cross-dressing circus attraction who explodes at the end. Period. In fact, if he could explode at the beginning that would be even better, thus saving many people the horror of sitting through another Rambo movie.
What could possibly be the plot of another Rambo movie? He already blew up a small town in the Pacific Northwest, went back to Vietnam and blew it up, blew up something in the Middle East, and, most recently, killed the entire Burmese army.
The most likely scenario would have to be:
A) Rambo getting involved, somehow, in Mixed Martial Arts, where he fights Rocky Balboa. They end up killing each other, thus promising no more sequels of either.
B) Runs for president on his distinguished Vietnam service record with a female running mate, becomes disenchanted with the system, then destroys all of Washington, D.C., with a flame thrower.
C) Captures, kills and eats Osama bin Laden.
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