Jimmy Page recently said he, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham would go on tour as Led Zeppelin without singer Robert Plant.

That sounds like an idea about as good as Queen hiring Paul Rodgers to sing Freddie Mercury songs.

Plant is apparently resisting getting back with the band and earning truckloads of money. Which would be noble and all if they didn’t sound great when they reunited for one show last December. Plus, I never saw Led Zeppelin and would like to trade one of my children for a floor seat. Touring under the name “Led Zeppelin,” without Robert Plant, would be a mockery of a travesty of a sham. Or something like that.

He’s simply not replaceable. Who are they going to get? I read somewhere they’re considering the guy who replaced Scott Stapp in Creed … only they knew a band even as crappy as Creed couldn’t go forward under that stupid name without the guy out front, so they changed their name to Alter Bridge. (I think that was it. Sadly, I forget to care.) Even Creed knew that … and they blow.

If they want to tour, fine. Write some new stuff and go out under another name. But just for fun, what if they did replace Plant without changing the name? Who would be the correct choice?

How about Michael Jackson? That would be the greatest thing to ever happen to rock. And by greatest, I mean the worst. I would give what’s left of my tattered 401(k) to hear him screech “Whole Lotta Love.”

How about Tom Jones? He’s English and about the same age. Chicks dig him, and he’d certainly be game for it.

How about Ozzy? He grew up in the same part of England as Plant and John Bonham. He’d have to speak the lyrics, but it would be entertaining.

How about Barry Manilow? He’s a showman and owns some fabulous stage attire. He’d attract a whole new demographic for Zeppelin. Which reminds me, how about Clay Aiken? He can sing and can probably be had pretty cheap.

Let’s hear some feedback. Who should replace Robert Plant if he continues to resist a Led Zeppelin reunion tour?