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Judge sentences criminals to Manilow

By Tony Hicks
Monday, November 24th, 2008 at 8:01 am in Uncategorized.

The legions of Manamaniacs aren’t going to like this.

As a deterrent to repeat offenders, a Colorado judge is handing out sentences requiring offenders to sit in a room to listen to music they hate. One of the “favorites,” so far, is Barry Manilow.

That sound you hear is my mother, hurriedly packing all her belonging to catch the next flight to Colorado, where she can now get away with anything without consequence.

Barry Manilow isn’t so bad. If I recall, NBA superstar LeBron James recently said he has The Manilow on his iPod. I mean, really, who doesn’t love frolicking about the house (when no one’s home) singing “Daybreak” at the top of their lungs?

No … I don’t. I’m just saying.

There are far worse things to subject people’s ears to. All I know is that if there was ever a chance I’d have to sit in a room and listen to Limp Bizkit for an hour, that would be enough to keep me returning library books on time the rest of my life and never jaywalk again.

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One Response to “Judge sentences criminals to Manilow”

  1. Mom Says:

    Hey Tony…Admit It…You not only know all the words to all of Barry’s songs, but you have been to his concerts and enjoyed it…Also I am not moving to Colorado…Nice Try…Mom

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