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Enjoy my pain

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am in Uncategorized.

One of the best things about other’s people’s misery is how great it makes you feel about yourself. So allow me to brighten your otherwise soggy, grim day.

After waking up to realize that, despite being 41, I still must deal with giant pimples appearing out of nowhere on my face, I had to sit through my baby crying through three shots at the doctor’s office, which is always great because they (the baby, not the doctor) look at you like it’s your fault. Then I discovered my divorce – which I believed to be final many many months ago – may not actually be final final. Because, while some documents say its final, that may just be technical jargon to confuse you so government clerks can have a hearty laugh at your expense. 

After my head nearly imploded from my new migraine, I came home to discover my dog had attacked, destroyed and eaten one of the kids’ advent calendars. Then, while I expressed my anger in a non-violent, but admittedly-loud, fashion, he looked at me with his big dopey face … and proceeded to pee himself in fear.

Great. I pick on helpless animals until they pee. I can’t wait for what happens later, when he processes all that chocolate.

And the day is still young. I’ll tell you right now if a get a phone call, teling me to pack up my personal belongings and report to the boss, something bad will happen. In the meantime, if anyone has any medication they’d like to share, please contact me at once.

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6 Responses to “Enjoy my pain”

  1. Auntie Says:

    Hey,
    Keep an eye on the pooch. Chocolate is bad for dogs, something about their heart, ask Bogue. Just more news to brighten your already fun-filled day

  2. HeyJoe Says:

    Just when you thought you was out… they pull you back in.

    Sorry man.

  3. Laura Casey Says:

    My weekend sounds like your day today. My cat looked at me, then squatted on the floor and peed on my clothes lying there. (yes, I am messy)
    Then, as I was picking up other clothes a day later, my hand grabbed a soggy, cold pile of poop.
    I love pets.

  4. Tony Hicks Says:

    Thank you for the warm regards. I have an update – I’ve been divorced since March. Or May. Or June. Or maybe since a week ago. But the point is I’m single … for now.

  5. Sonia Says:

    I can’t believe Cozy did that! I mean, eat the calendar. I completely believe Cozy would pee himself.

  6. Darnell Says:

    Such a usefule blog…wow !!!!

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