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Happy New Year – we’re all gonna die

By Tony Hicks
Friday, January 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm in Uncategorized.

I just read a really bad spy book about terrorists seting off nukes along the Yellowstone Caldera, causing it to erupt and basically destroy the U.S.

Now it looks like it’s going to happen without the nukes.

Great. And I was just going to start paying into my 401(k) again. This is like me paying off my Mervyn’s card two weeks before they announced they were going under. True story.

And since we’re here — and I’m watching the “Rocky” marathon on AMC — why is Rocky running down the middle of the street in the middle of the day? Where are the cars? Do they block off the streets of Philadelphia when a boxer goes for a jog?

And what the hell are all those kids doing chasing him? Why aren’t they in school? This is why America’s going to hell in a handbasket — because we let kids chase a strange headband-wearing man down the middle of the street in the middle of the day instead of going to school.

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