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Saving the economy with breasts

By Tony Hicks
Monday, January 26th, 2009 at 1:20 pm in Uncategorized.

Apparently Hooters is getting lots of competition in what’s being called the “breastaurant” industry.

One’s cleverly called “Twin Peaks.” Another is “Bone Daddy’sTexas-based Twin Peaks revolves around the theme of a man and a woman in a mountain hunting lodge.

Let me guess — they’re stuck in a blizzard, just the two of them. With no power. And a full liquor cabinet (cue porn music here). The waitresses wear flannel shirts, tied at the waist and shorts. And apparently, twice a month, they do bikini car washes.

Well, cars do get dirty. Somebody’s got to wash ’em. And it gets darned hot in Texas.

Of course it’s all very silly, and perhaps even a bit sexist. But why the heck not? Hooters is one of the last companies on earth still making money – with sales of $997 million in 2008, up two percent from the year before. Sex will always sell, and going out to eat isn’t a necessity when you’re broke. Which may explain the sudden rarity of squirrels in the U.S.

As a man, of course, I think these “breastaurants” are simply the best idea in the history of the universe. But as the father and/or stepfather to four girls, I find it terribly inappropriate and downright disgusting that (mostly) men spend money to eat chicken wings served by young attractive women practically busting out of their shirts. Unless, of course, they’ll hire my oldest kid so she can start making her car payments to me on time.

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One Response to “Saving the economy with breasts”

  1. heyjoe Says:

    Let me just say, oh forget it.

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