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Michael Jackson may be an imposter

This is the column I wrote today for Tuesday’s paper about yesterday’s Michael Jackson press conference. I wanted to post it today because the world is still buzzing (not really) from yesterday’s press conference. The world also has been eagerly anticipating my reaction to it (not really).

Just forget it over the weekend and read my column fresh Tuesday, like you never saw this.

I watched a replay of the Michael Jackson press conference from last week when he announced he’ll play ten shows in London this summer. And I wanted to make sure I captured my thoughts. Because seeing Michael Jackson somewhere without a lawyer or hooded children is a big deal these days.

Plus, as you know, Michael Jackson is very important to me. I wouldn’t have become a professional dancer, specializing in choreographed street-fight re-creations, if not for Michael Jackson.

The clip I saw was about four minutes and 40 seconds long, and terribly confusing:

0:47: Michael walks in wearing a shirt Michael Madsen might wear to a Mexican restaurant on a Friday night. Except Michael has military insignias on his. Looks like the king has been demoted to the Sgt. of Pop.

1:11: Michael pumps his fist. The camera pans to the crowd, where an enthusiastic man with a giant head moans Michael’s name. We don’t have a lot to go on at this point, but I’m fairly certain this man is an escaped criminal maniac. Either that or I saw him working at the corndog hut at the mall.

1:29: Michael says “Thank you all” clearly and strongly. His voice is a bit deeper than usual. He looks pretty good. He hasn’t once had to bend over and pick up his face. I sense something amiss. We may have an imposter on our hands. I start to wonder if anyone knows where LaToya is …

1:40: Michael inexplicably starts chanting “This is it.” Then he pumps his fist some more. People go crazy. I get confused. He says these will be his final shows in London. People still cheer. Now I’m really confused.

2:19: Suddenly it hits me. That’s Johnny Depp up there, amusing himself. Either that or Liza Minelli. Then I remember that’s not true as Liza Minelli was with me Thursday.

2:21: I look at that long, stringy purple-black head of hair and ask myself why any man who could have an Afro, would choose not to? Outside of Art Garfunkel. I loudly start singing “My Little Town,” and forget what I’m doing …

2:33: Michael clutches his chest as if to say “thank you.” Either that or he’s faking a heart attack for attention. This is ridiculous. Where’s Tito to lend some sense to all this?

2:56: Michael says he’ll perform all the songs his fans want to hear. I quickly wonder if that means only his songs, or if I could request “My Little Town.”

3:20: The man with the giant head starts chanting something that sounds like “au jus.” Michael’s jacket apparently has the poor man believing he’s a waiter.

3:25: Michal thrusts his right hand in the air … and gives the Vulcan salute. Again, I have no explanation.

3:44: Michael says “see you in July,” and throws both arms over his head in a stunning tribute to Richard Nixon. Then he turns around, marches toward the back curtain, spins back around, and again thrusts a fist toward the crowd. I don’t know why, but I start to weep uncontrollably.

4:00: Michael leaves the stage. The crowd wants more. I want to know what just happened.
I’ll guess I’ll have to wait until July.

Posted by on March 6, 2009.

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28 Responses

  1. So True!!! Anyone who really thinks that was the real Michael Jackson needs serious help! The Real Michael Jackson can barely walk, and is child molesting freak of nature! I am sure this is just a way for Michael to make money, buy paying some fool to earn it for him! Why isn’t the authentic freak in jail where real people have to go when they rape young kids? I would bet that half, if not more, of that “audience” was paid as well!!!!! What has our world come to?

    by amy on Mar 8, 2009 at 4:51 am

  2. Too much strength and musculature. Contrast to the photo on the internet of Michael at his 50th Birthday in a tuxedo jacket over his pajamas. Steroids or protein drinks wouldn’t kick in that fast. And all those new caps on his teeth! Hey, doesn’t the LAPD have Jackson’s finger prints on file? Wouldn’t hurt to check.

    by Jayarpee on Mar 14, 2009 at 1:14 pm

  3. I watched it, and that was NOT the real MJ, I have a picture of him and his teeth when he smiled at the conference don’t even match MJS!! this is pathetic, I even sensed a foreign accent!!! listen carefully to this fake MJ, uneblieveble and now’s he DEAD or what a fucking coincidence……

    by skittle on Jun 25, 2009 at 4:45 pm

  4. The Real Michael Jackson died in 1984/1985.
    The came the first impostor who made bad, …. and the others.

    Hope the truth comes out.
    Thriller, Billie Jeans, … much greater and better than bad…

    by truth and justice on Jun 26, 2009 at 5:26 am

  5. “that’s not him” was my first reaction when I saw this. Guy on stage is way too strong, tall, and walks like the hulk. Hair is too darth-vador-helmet like. Voice is too deep, low. Only thing that actually looks like MJ are his nose and chin – but these were easy to fake given the real MJ’s fake nose and chin. RIP MJ, loved your music.

    by Al on Jun 26, 2009 at 8:27 am

  6. Ok so the real Michael Jackson supposedly died twenty five years ago. I dont believe that crap for a minute.The real MJ died June 25, 2009. The media can show have some people fool.

    by William Brown on Jun 27, 2009 at 2:36 am

  7. the world Needs Jesus and the influence of the Holy Spirit.

    by victoria igiehon on Jun 27, 2009 at 4:56 am

  8. [...] Michael Jackson may be an imposter – Insert Foot – What happens after Tony Hicks opens his mouth [...]

    by Michael Jackson Dies at 50 - Page 5 on Jun 28, 2009 at 5:35 am

  9. The world needs people with a heart the size of Michaels, people who dont judge you based on other experiances. He set a great example for everyone around him, the world is so far gone that i almost feel at ease knowing Michael does not have to deal with the cruel world anymore. He was a good person and I wish I could be like Mike.RIP

    by John on Jun 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm

  10. Since turning 50 Mj has been working out hard preparing for that combat, the cant walk thing, going blind and needing a liver was not true, get a life. The clip was done in March or something. :) they have recent pics of him and videos of him practicing with the ppl he choose to be part of the combat that will never happen now :( looking good on the out but only him and God knew how the inside felt. My wud never put his kids through that faking his dead pfft yall evil ad vicious, Mj has the true pure heart. RIP MJ

    by Kameyo on Jun 30, 2009 at 2:57 pm

  11. if you half mjs age you get the day he died in the fire.
    so the the imposter has been him for half his life

    by elvis on Jul 1, 2009 at 11:07 pm

  12. I find nothing interesting in the story of the imposter and I am not making hasty conclusion. I sincerely hope we know the limit and not forget respect to the king of pop, MJ.

    by Etoma Eteng on Jul 2, 2009 at 8:46 pm

  13. all u haters n freaks shud get a life n leave d dead to rest in peace….if it aint d real MJ who gives a fuck wat u tink,let d dude do his thing.RIP MJ

    by mukky on Jul 7, 2009 at 10:56 am

  14. All of you that critisize Michaels death and are talking about some fake imposter are wrong and dumb idiots. He’s dead and finally resting in peace and even now when hes dead, you idiots are still trying to find a way to cause trouble. Honestly go to hell thats where you belong, always taking the devils side and doing devilish acts. He wanted piece and had great talent and a heart larger than life. And all his trials were aquitted for a reason, BC HE NEVER DID ANYONE OF THAT STUFF. IT WAS ALL FOR MONEY LAUNDRYING for bastards that thought it was a good idea to do that kind of stuff to an innocent man, to the King, the King of Pop. May his soul rest in peace, and may it live on forever and ever. R.I.P. MJJ

    by R.I.P. MJ on Jul 7, 2009 at 5:59 pm

  15. my theory …on the investigation of Michael Jackson death, after doing over two weeks now of observation and reading all the articles I can find and all the past articles I can find I have come to this conclusion because too many source just don’t add up,,, how do you turn a black man tee shirt white ? and I do think at one time he was addicted to pain medication when the trial was going on about the child molesting cases .but is it any wonder look at the stress it caused him which he was proven not guilty, I think he sough help on his drug problem and got a hold of it ..also I think even though he was sad about his childhood he became accustom to the spotlight and was missing it. it is so hard getting old so you grab on to anything you can to hold on to your youth such as kids ,plastic surgery, some of the wacko gimmicks he came up with .but all in all I really think he tried to help the world I think he thought one man alone could heal the world .wow was he fighting a losing battle… and for his giving nature I think people didn’t understand so they made up all kind of rumors about him they wanted to put him on there level. but he believed in the truth and always wanted to set the record straight so he fought back believing what he was always taught the truth will prevail.. …after two weeks now all the doctors have come out with all the news of his addiction maybe the family did a intervention plan in 2003 .. what about the last year don’t you think they would have a know what was going on in that house..? he’s been planning a come back tour for a year and a half so we were told bigger than thriller and I think this is it that’s whey you cant get a straight answer now back to my theory I think the white man that died at the Jackson house was a Jackson imposter who was terminal ill and Jackson paid for all his treatment is why his medical bills was so expensive and I believe Jackson was already in London awaiting his hick off tour and I think he will rock the world with this comeback and clear his name all one comeback

    -

    by dee on Jul 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm

  16. Wow Micheal Jackson really brings the angry confused christian bloggers out of the woodwork!!!
    I agree with those who say this wasn’t the real Micheal. I had a Malcolm Gladwell Blink! type reaction the first time i saw the clip. My brain just rejected the notion that that was the real deal. Weird!

    by Andrew Dixey on Jul 28, 2009 at 4:53 am

  17. Some people must be blind, deaf, confused, deluded and willing to beleive anything the media throw at them if they think that the person who attended the o2 press conference was Michael Jackson.
    Aside from him being a different height, having a healthier skin colour, a smile not dissimilar to the joker, an ill fitting wig, completely different mannerisms, a different body weight, a different voice and a walk exactly like vince noir from the mighty boosh, i can see the resemblence.

    Do a google picture search of michael jackson and compare any picture you like to that bloke at the o2 conference. Even with as many different faces as MJ had over the years, his hands wouldn’t suddenly go from having slim, slender fingers to short stubby ones now would it. Even the most die hard of fans would have to think that strange.

    by lee on Aug 2, 2009 at 3:49 pm

  18. Let the guy be.he is dead n gone.even if he was an imposter,d imposter deservd to b treated as a king.he was a good imposter.

    by Nonso. on Aug 3, 2009 at 3:20 am

  19. i actually have no idea, i mean yeah the voice is deeper but still, who in the world would want 2 make their nose so thin they can’t breathe and the cleft in the chin just 2 look like him.
    just believe wat u want coz i really don’t know but it could be??????????????///

    by jasmine/vampire on Sep 3, 2009 at 1:00 am

  20. being a huge MJ fan myself, i have seen several video clips of Michael. anyone can see that this guy is clearly an imposter. first clue, the way he walks. second, the deeper voice. i’m sure MJ had a good reason for using a double. RIP Michael

    by heather on Sep 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm

  21. Jordan Chandler Admits he lied about Michael Jackson molesting him! Child admits he lied in court about Michael Jackson molestation case. Jordan Chandler stupid american child lies about being Molested by Michael Jackson. American news & stupid children wait until after Michael Jackson is dead and rumors were in news years. Shame on the Children that lied & usa news!

    Michael Jacksons court case and children that accused Michael Jackson of being a child molester! After the Death of Michael Jackson the truth comes out about children that lied about Michael jackson molesting them. Lawsuit and case and court case with Michael Jackson accused of being a child molester. Obviously in America there is not real justice in ways but, courts are mostly about money. When I first heard children were starting to accuse Michael Jackson of Child Molestation it was more than obviously seeming as if people were wanting to pull off a scam and get money from the pop star. People in the usa with money are often a target for scams. If you look at photos of the children that accused Mr. Jackson of Molesting them then look at the size of Mr. Jackson it makes no sense even to the most retarded folks.

    When lawyers seemed to be looking for more children to go to court and testify against Michael Jackson it makes one think they were trying hard to make kids say that they were molested to win a case in court. In reality if Michael Jackson had tried to molest these children you have to admit they were about the same size and some bigger than this man in weight ect. It would have made sense that they could have pushed him off of them. That is just to say look at photos of Michael Jackson and Michaels height and weight ect. Also remember that Michael Jackson seemed to be very trusting and loved children not in a perverted pedophile way! Michael Jackson gave millions of dollars to causes to help feed and care for children by giving to organizations to help homeless and less fortunate children around the world.

    There seems to have been no real evidence or proof that Michael Jackson molested any of the children. The only thing that came up in court was cases of children that seemed they could have easily been told to say they were molested by Michael Jackson. In the death of Michael Jackson making news 1 of the children Jordan Chandler confessed that he was told to say Michael Jackson molested him and that it was not true. Jordan Chandler admitted he lied about Michael Jackson in court. Jordan Chandler has admitted that he lied and Michael Jackson did not molest him or act upon him in any way more than as being a kind person and friend to him.

    No sexual acts took place between Michael Jackson and Jordan Chandler ect. Before posts saying the kid admitted it people were ready to say Jackson did molest kids even though there was and is no physical evidence or evidence what so ever. Some people thought the kid that accused MJ of molestation was being and acting like a retarded american idiot to trying to get money from Mr. Jackson. In america you are guilty until you prove your innocent. People that know how unjust american courts and laws are always take advantage of that. American people that spread the lies about Michael Jackson and put the rumors of his child molestation out have done a great deal of harm to MJ. Anyone accused of molesting children that would not do or think such things it is very damaging to. Shame on the children and people that spread lies about Michael Jackson and the molesting rumors which are Not True if you ask anyone with a fraction of a brain. I am very sure there is no truth what so ever in any of the rumors of Jackson molesting children. I am shocked people would be dumb enough to even think Michael Jackson did such things. Even for americans to fall for the lies was shocking but, americans never seem to stop showing their colours! Sadly i am american but, I am not stupid. I am one of the few free thinkers that goes with facts and wisdom not with rumors and lies. Shame on the family members of the children that made them lie and shame on the children that lied about Michael Jackson. Shame on Jordan Chandler for being such a brat as to lie about such things. Shame on Jordan Chandler for waiting until Michael Jackson was dead before he came out with the truth about him spreading lies about Michael Jackson.

    by Mary Evans on Sep 14, 2009 at 5:54 pm

  22. Ypur so right Heather!!! Thank od someone can see what I see! I can not believe what I saw in the “This Is It” video. Am I the only one who see Michael Jackson is not Michael Jackson? So many weird actions in that short piece. If you really follow the hair styles he is wearing you can guess what year it was around. The voice is off again. But what about those dance moves!!! And many of his action are off. You can see the real MJ if you study each frame as they come. I just hate that they are going to make sooooo much money off this imposter. What is wrong with most people I do not know…We can’t be THAT blind!!! I am happy that some people are as aware as I am. I guess some peple want to stay asleep…Dream on! The people who act like they KNOW it was the real MJ are morons. How could you KNOW??? Not that any of this really matters-LOL!

    by Alice on Sep 17, 2009 at 6:40 pm

  23. Ok heres the deal people let`s get the story straight!
    Michael Jackson supposedly died a while ago and the Michael we have been seeing was an “imposter”…. (this may explain the whole black to white thing)
    Now I some-what believe this.

    Although there are stories that he may of “faked” his death! Poor guy all these people demanding more and more of him!? No wonder he may of done this.Either way we may never know the truth.But why would he do this to his family??? So many questions and no answers. I guess the truth is what you think….Michael Jackson: dead? Was it an imposter? Did he fake the whole thing?

    by samantha on Oct 13, 2009 at 5:37 pm

  24. I have been comparing the ears and palms before 1984 and after 1985 : we have been fooled.

    by fooled on Oct 17, 2009 at 12:31 pm

  25. The first imposter nam was Frank Jespin. Then there was E-Casanovan and others.
    Chandler was not molested by Michael Jackson, but by Frank Jaspin – the first imposter.

    by fooled on Oct 17, 2009 at 12:34 pm

  26. o.m.g yall r a bunch of fools. MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON died on JUNE 28,2009.There is no imposter.There is only one MICHAEL JACKSON.Yall jus trynna make people think like “oh he been dead many years ago,so i can stop crying now”.OH no thats stupid,r.i.p mj luv ya…yall lame for this,aint no frank jespin or e-casanovan boo..kk?? im out r.i.p again& luV u miChaeL baBy..c u later

    by mRs.prince michael joseph jackson~ on Nov 14, 2009 at 10:54 am

  27. why only one tv channel (CM)it mean that people of that channel are also involved in it. we can go to them. maybe we shall get something. whatever i think michael’s family is also involved in it. on mj’s funeral ceremony, the director of this is it said, less than a week ago, michael was between us. now do some math, the funeral held after two weeks of mj’s death. it mean that between that one week mj was present in them, all is lie, everybody is involved in it. and one more strong proof, the picture in which mj is dying, which is in ambulance. if you will look at that picture. that shows that mj’s head is infront of the ambulance’s door. how careless, it is risky. and conrad murray was a cardiologist, and he was always present at mj’s house, so how he can die because of a cardiac attack. now what i think mj is alive, and he is somewhere but where i don’t know. some more proofs, you can watch on youtube. write there media hoax michael jackson’s death, part 1, watch all the parts, they are amazing proofs.

    by sarmad on Aug 16, 2010 at 3:31 am

  28. and is mj is alive and present in this world, so one day he will come in front of us, and we all will be known. or maybe they will murder him, his family, they are the main problem, and the funeral service was also fake.

    by sarmad on Aug 16, 2010 at 3:34 am

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About Insert Foot

After moving to Hollywood and failing miserably at becoming a rock star (his band was once upstaged by a punk rock dwarf; another time by a salad bar), Tony Hicks has written about music and pop culture for the Times since 1996. A local boy who once delivered the Times while growing up in Walnut [...]more →