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Beer will save the world

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, July 30th, 2009 at 3:54 pm in Uncategorized.

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I’m really happy to see we have a president who has finally publicly come out and exposed history’s great uniter: having a beer.

Today President Obama will sit down for a frosty one with Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge Police Department.

Seems that the good professor was having some trouble recently getting into his home. A passer-by mistook him for a burglar, the police were called, Gates, who’s black, said something about racism; the white cop arrested him, and President Obama said the police acted stupidly.

People called out people, police unions yelled at Obama, activists defended Gates, and Obama backed off, saying everybody needed to sit down with a cold one and sort this out.


Nice work. That’s what guys do. Once we realize there’s a problem, someone says let’s sit down with a beer and hash it out. Beer calms us down. It gives us a reason to sit down and talk (which men need). And it usually works (though now that I see the vice president has showed up, there’s no telling what could happen — don’t be surprised if you see pictures of Secret Service agents trying to shield photographers from taking pictures of Biden screaming “hooo-weeee” and lifting the funnel). 

Beer is the great uniter. A lot of people don’t know this, but Nixon took beer to China. An exasperated Jimmy Carter finally got out a sixer of Bud at Camp David and, bingo, Egypt and Israel are long-lost buddies. Many of us believe the Middle East and Africa would be much better off if there was more beer over there.

Either that or there’d be more berserk, drunk people with guns killing each other. But it’s a nice idea.

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One Response to “Beer will save the world”

  1. Sonia Says:

    I wish Obama was drinking something cooler than Bud Light.

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