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Kids are stupid

By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 at 1:21 pm in Uncategorized.

There’s always one guy in the bunch.

Some dumb kid named Russell Gortzig in Florida, where thousands of people¬†buy baby pythons not realizing they’ll grow bigger than their house and need setting free, watched a video on YouTube where some idiot (in a banana suit – seriously)¬†successfully lights himself on fire. So stupid Russell (I only call him that because he’s still alive … and stupid) and his pal siphon gas from a lawmower and ignite a lighter.

Am I missing something here?

I clearly remember being 13 years old and understanding that flames and gas are a bad idea. And If that wasn’t among the stupid things I did when I was 13 (trust me – the list is long), then a kid REALLY has to be stupid to do it.

Besides, I totally knew when I was 13 that the only guy who could play with fire and gas was Gene Simmons.

I love how the mom tries to blame YouTube instead of her own obviously faulty genetics. Maybe someone should’ve explained to Russell that fire and gas, when put together, go boom.

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One Response to “Kids are stupid”

  1. Marla Says:

    I read your article on contra costa while looking for the totally-didn’t-see-it-coming-……yaaaaaa-right news about the “The Bachelorette”, and i have to say i find you very funny. In a witty/clever/hey, i think i’ll read every word and not skim/dave eggers kind of way. and then i did a search of your name on contra costa and read some more articles. high praise for a writer, let me tell ya. i even googled you, but something tells me your weren’t in an English pop group from Manchester in the 60′s…

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