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Oh God, the PAIN

By Tony Hicks
Saturday, October 17th, 2009 at 9:49 pm in Uncategorized.

So I have this new thing where I take a book to the gym with me. I didn’t really plan it, but I’ve been reading good books lately that I can’t put down – so they go to the gym with me. I usually listen to the TV with the headphones and oogle the hot MILFs at the gym – uh, I mean, I respect all the women around me because I’m a really good guy, and I’m just there for self improvement.

Anyway, I’m reading the new book, and I knew I had to go to the gym because I’m out of shape and have diabetes and don’t adhere to my diet like I should, so I go to the gym as much as possible and hope I’ll live long enough to see my children graduate from high school (if you’re about to log off this blog and find something interesting to do – like watch the old concrete on your driveway separate  I’ll understand). Reading trashy spy novels is one of my biggest weaknesses (next to animal sacrifice) And I love this book so much that – instead of the usual 35 minutes on the bike – I did 70 minutes for the first time ever, because I couldn’t stop reading. That and the fact that my wife was home doing major cleaning, which I wanted no part of. But never mind that.

But when I got home I forgot that I promised to clean up our side yard, which includes lots of long pieces of wood with rebar sticking out of them that the former owner thought was good decor in the backyard (he was wrong). Anyway, not remembering I did 70 minutes on the bike instead of 35 – I went ahead with the plan to chop the wood on the side of the house. And – oh yeah – I haven’t chopped wood in ten years, since I was 32, worked out a lot, and wasn”t 42 which, if you’re good at math, you know I am now. So I got out the ax, chopped the hell out of some wood. and had to stop because I realized that If I kept going, I would die.

I haven’t used those muscles in ten years. And it shows.

After about 40 minutes, I had to stop and come inside. My legs were already sore from the double exercise bike deal, and those muscles I hadn’t used in ten years started cramping and … well, you know. I’m a mess. I’m popping Advil like Skittles and can’t wait to see how sore I am tomorrow morning.

I”m not sure what the moral of the story is, other than a good book will keep you on an exercise bike too long and chopping wood sucks if you haven’t done it in a long time. Doing both the same day is one of the stupidest things you can do past a certain age. But no one (no really – no one) ever said I make good decisions. If someone out there knows a cheap message thearapist, please let me know.

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One Response to “Oh God, the PAIN”

  1. Holly Says:

    Well, she’s not *cheap*, but Tracy at We Are Hair on Park St. in Alameda is fairly inexpensive and really really good.

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