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Wine? Really?

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 8:16 pm in Uncategorized.

It just dawned on me that I may be actually starting to enjoy wine. Which leaves me only one conclusion:
I’m getting old.
Maybe the Godfather said it best, when he mentioned he enjoys wine more as he gets older. Who am I to question the man who held Luca Brasi’s considerably long leash?

Normally wine is the stuff that, to uncivilized Philistines like myself, means we’re out of everything else. But lately I’ve actually been looking forward to a touch of the grape with dinner. Or before dinner. Or after dinner.
That’s kind of a joke – in case you’re┬ásomeone who’s considering suing me.
But it’s appeared to me – with apologies to our in-house wine maven Jessica Yadegaren – that wine’s main function is to give certain people a reason to enjoy alcohol while saying they’re above the alcohol-related shenanigans that often accompany other forms of alcohol. That’s California for you. We like to say we believe in social equality while looking down on as many people as possible for any good reason we can think of. If someone spread the word that the social hierarchy was based on green beans, we’d have expensive green bean tasting rooms sprouting up wherever some could build an expensive bed-and-breakfast next to the suddenly “tranquil, lovely and inviting” green bean fields.
But there is something to the notion that not all forms of alcohol are created equal. I’ve been to a vodka bar in Las Vegas where SERIOUS discussions take place on the various qualities of hundreds of vodkas from around the world. And I can understand that (I learned that while many Swedish and Russian vodkas have a powerful, yet-smooth taste, anything made in California – from my experience – generally tastes like you’re licking an interstate highway). The same, no doubt, holds true for wine (that there’s big differences in quality, not that California wine tastes like pavement). I just HATE the idea of going wine tasting, because it seems like such obvious bullpucky. Ninety-nine percent of the people know nothing about what they’re tasting, and are trying to impress someone with whom they’re on a second or third date.
So, baby steps. I’ll try to get over my bias against wine simply because most of the people who take wine SERIOUSLY live in an unrealistic world of misplaced priorities and cars that are so clean that the air isn’t fit for humans. Maybe I’ll even go wine tasting. But it needs to be with someone who’s doesn’t mind having a beer afterward. A good beer.

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3 Responses to “Wine? Really?”

  1. The Sonia Show Says:

    I would love to go wine tasting with you, Tony! You’ll love it.

  2. tony Says:

    I think you know better. Like, maybe if we have some beers on the way …

  3. Tony Hicks Says:

    Do they serve nachos?

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