By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 1:58 pm in Uncategorized.
Well .. yeah.
Specifically, I’m looking for people who would like to talk – or even just e-mail me – about the time-honored tradition of screwing up the Thanksgiving turkey with an electric knife. Actually, you don’t have to have stories about screwing it up. Just good stories or thoughts.
Personally, I’m scared to death of the day when someone in the family looks at me and says “Here, it’s your turn.” How the hell do you learn to do this? How do you practice? And how do you tolerate your whole family all day while staying sober enough to actually do it without killing someone?
No. I’ll never be that guy. Never. Some people even carve a turkey while at the table, with everybody looking at them. To me, that would be like trying to give an impromptu speech to the shareholders of Apple without owning a computer. How do you become “that” guy? Is it the first time you host the family Thanksgiving? Is it when grandpa dies? Is it when dad divorces mom and spends Thanksgiving in Vegas with his secretary? I don’t know. And I need to … because they’re making me write a story about it.
Thank you for your time.