By Tony Hicks
Thursday, December 17th, 2009 at 11:45 am in Uncategorized.
Memo to self: Let the dogs out before committing suicide.
Not that I’m going to commit suicide, or would condone such a thing. That’s terrible. However, don’t do it when you’re dogs are shut in the house with you. Especially if you’d like an open casket.
A Nebraska resident shot himself three weeks ago and, when police finally found him last week, his two pugs Harry and Sally, were alive and perfectly fine, thanks to their resourcefullness in finding themselves something to eat during their three weeks shut inside.
That’s right. They ate Daddy.
But not to worry. The Humane Society says the dogs are well-adjusted and in excellent shape and are unlikely to suffer long-term side effects from eating their owner because, well, they’re dogs
Sounds great. Get me that number – I’m ready to adopt them. Then I’ll make sure no one in the house stops moving for more than a few minutes. Or that the food bowls are always full.