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Spiderman is Dead – Good

By Tony Hicks
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 at 2:28 pm in Uncategorized.

Sony Pictures announced this week that it’s pulled the plug on Spiderman 4, because they couldn’t agree on a script with director Sam Raimi – who also didn’t think the studio’s check for $230 million would cover his “vision.”


Because the last one sucked, the one before that wasn’t so good, and the first one was OK because nobody had ever seen Kirsten Dunst with red hair (C’mon – you know you loved her in the cheerleader movie).

Tobey McGuire seems like a nice person – and I really liked him when he played the little guy in that movie with all those guys who looked like they were in Leatherwolf.

Oh – maybe that was someone else.

Anyway, Tobey McGuire sucked as Spiderman – a character who was supposed to be sarcastic, edgy, daring, heroic and someone who guys like me (smart asses who may need a mask to get chicks) want to be. Yes, he was a nerd, but his alter ego brought out the guy he always wanted to be. Instead, he spent an awful lot of time being sickeningly sensitive to MJ (really – is the world big enough for so many MJs?) and standing around looking like a wuss. We need to believe that Spiderman can kick someone’s ass, even if he is a science nerd.

Plus the affects sucked and the last couple villains sucked (C’mon – the guy from “Wings?”) Let’s re-boot this thing with someone deserving of the suit. In fact, maybe I’ll write my Sunday column about who they should replace Tobey with. That’s a win-win, as it looks like I’ve already written half of it.

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One Response to “Spiderman is Dead – Good”

  1. Mukesh L Says:

    I found this line (in your Argus column) hilarious and so true: “Macguire’s answer to crossing the threshold to superherodom was to drop his voice an octave, like a kid calling the school attendance office pretending to be his dad.”. I was close to actually ROTFLOL this time (making me appreciate that acronym for the first time).

    Could not have articulated it better and being a comic movie aficionado, I totally agree that while Macguire is a decent actor, he is no fit for Spidey in the sharp sarcastic way the comic books presented him. Hopefully the “reboot” by Sony leads to better movies like the Batman series when they reinvented themselves.

    Keep those columns coming – I am a big fan and now thaht I found your blog, will be a regular reader of that too…


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