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Pat Robertson: Geologist

By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 3:54 pm in Uncategorized.

It wasn’t massive underground plates moving in opposing directions thanks to tremendous gravitational forces most of us don’t understand.

It was actually Satan. And the French.

Televangelist Pat Robertson said Wednesday on his Christian Broadcast Network that the earthquake in Haiti that has killed thousands happened because they made a pact with the devil.

Uncle Pat says when Haiti was under control of the French, they made a deal with the devil to kick out the French in exchange for serving Satan “They said ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French,’” he says.

Whoa. I mean, I know people don’t always like the French, but that’s pretty extreme.

He also went on to say that, since more buildings fell down than are still standing, that this could be a “blessing in disguise” so they can, you know, re-build better buildings … once they get all those dead, Satanic Haitians out from under them.

My favorite part of the video is the woman to whom Robertson is telling this wonderful tale, nodding her head and saying “Uh huh” like she’s listening to a college professor, instead of some religious quack.

I think Pat Robertson – who also blamed 9/11 on Americans tolerating abortion and homosexuality – has so many viewers because HE made a deal with the devil. That can be the only explanation.

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3 Responses to “Pat Robertson: Geologist”

  1. Sonia Says:

    I heard Pat Robertson is going to be the new host of “The Tonight Show.”

  2. thicks Says:

    Yeah – ratings would actually go up.

  3. Rush is sweet | Insert Foot Says:

    [...] Pat Robertson: Geologist [...]

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