By Tony Hicks
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at 5:15 pm in Uncategorized.
I’m in mourning right now. It’s unexpected. Well, as unexpected as euthanasia can be.
We grieve for Moosey the Guinea pig, beloved companion of Squeaky (not that there’s anything wrong with that), occasional friend of Lorelei and Olivia (when they’re told they can’t have a puppy because they don’t even pay attention to the Guinea pigs), tormented plaything of Lucille (who doesn’t mind getting bit when trying to grab a Guinea pig like it’s a hot dog), and chore to Michelle and Tony, who fed him and cleaned his cage and tried to make friends with him only to have him run away and/or bite them. With Tony, mostly the latter.
Services will be held at … well, probably nowhere, as I’m still trying to figure out what to do with the deceased’s furry little corpse, since the vet wanted to charge me 70 bucks to get rid of it for me. I already paid the vet $100 to do what my father-in-law probably would’ve gladly done for free.
Actually, I was a bit sad at having to take old Moosey in today. He was pushing five, which is pretty old for a Guinea pig. He hasn’t eaten in a few days and even stopped drinking water. I even tried to give him his favorite food before we left – strawberry tops – in one last-ditch effort to keep him from the needle.
My wife and I always joked about the Guineas going to the big Guinea pig … whatever … in the sky, because things would be better once the Guineas went. We’d have more space and half of the house wouldn’t smell. Well, smell worse than wherever I am. But to our surprise, we’re both sad today. And it’ll be much worse when we have to tell the kids, who won’t remember that they barely gave the little beasts the time of day the past couple years. At least one will sob uncontrollably … which is why I’m contemplating telling her while she’s at her mother’s house, where I don’t have to face it.
That’s a joke (I have to be careful, as I’m fairly sure her mother can read).
Bye Moosey. Despite being that much closer to having more room in the kitchen, the house smelling slightly better, and me not spending 50 bucks a month on food and bedding, you will be missed. Probably.
I have to go pick up Moosey now, as the vet said on the phone they’d put him in the freezer for me until i got there. I didn’t really need to hear that. In the end, I kind of liked the little monster. Even if he did bite me.