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John Mayer is a suck up

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, February 25th, 2010 at 4:40 pm in Uncategorized.

Yeah, John Mayer is a douche. We all know it. But since his recent Playboy interview, in which he admitted his penis is a racist (among other stupid things) he found the best, quickest way to redeem himself with America’s women (not including walking around the mall with a puppy, which works every time. Though I like to use newborn babies).

At a recent show, there was an 11-year-old kid from New Jersey named Austin Christie in the front row, holding up a sign saying “I want to play Belief with you.” Yeah, great kid – I still want to be in Van Halen. Big deal. But Mayer, needing a publicity coup, pulls the kid on stage, gives him a guitar, and lets him play Belief with him. Which – even knowing how big of a douche John Mayer is – was still kind of cool.


But even better – it was a brilliant move. He tousled the little guy’s head and gave him the guitar. Then the kid made the rounds on the talk shows the next couple days and – WHAMMO – John Mayer is a again a caring, sensitive, handsome white man who cares about 11-year-old boys, puppies, and 17-year-old girls who, coincidentally, buy his records.

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One Response to “John Mayer is a suck up”

  1. G-Girl Says:

    Still a dick…was always a dick…he just didn’t open his mouth that much to talk. Loved his singing but even THAT got boring fast. His voice is unique and distinguishable I give him that, but he doesn’t diversify enough, and when you have a voice like that, you need to change things up (oh and not fuck with the community and um…RACE that likes your music). Ben Harper does it successfully. Awesome singer, COMPLETELY recognizable sound, but he finds a way to keep it fresh…AND he keeps himself low-key and likable! And being black has nothing to do with it. He just simply isn’t an Oscar MAYER-Wiener like the wannabe brother.

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